The Dom

[kait]

Is marriage necessarily a "forever" commitment, though? Legally speaking, it isn't much other than the government giving a seal of approval and giving you some tax breaks and such. And giving your significant other hospital visitation rights and stuff like that. For you, what makes "marriage" more of a sham than, say, two people who just remain together their whole lives and are committed to each other but don't actually get married? And how is getting married and divorcing different than being in a long-term relationship and then breaking up?

[Miss Friendship]

Computer issues that will not be resolved, no matter the troubleshooting or professional help.

Have you recently had this?

As for your little allegory excuse, Pilgrim's Progress does not glorify murder; Harry Potter's entire intent is to paint wizardry in a positive light. So think again, little missy!

Hmm, you're probably right. I'm still not 100% sure of my allegory EXAMPLE, (excuse #duh.) I love hating HP. (not really) Buttttt, if it's really just the same, I don't want to biased for no reason.

Do you listen to rock music?

What's your opinion on wedding dresses seeing you will never wear one?

Do you like to attend weddings at all?

[Dom]

Harry Potter's entire intent is to paint wizardry in a positive light.

Where did you get that impression from magic used as a plot device?

I would hardly call the main theme of a series a mere "plot device".

...I'm not actually going to address why I think a series focused on young wizards fulfilling their wizard-y destiny is wizardry-positive... *blink*

Also, I didn't say that portraying wizardry in a positive light was a problem. I was merely pointing out Countess' faulty comparison to a clearly-marked evil act in an allegory. The Bible is filled with violence and murder...does that mean you should go watch snuff films? Her logic is faulty. She was comparing a godly allegory that includes obviously evil acts, to something that glorifies acts which are against her religion.

I'm not suggesting she stay away from Harry Potter. Just pointing out the flaw in her little excuse. I have no problem with Harry Potter, and would encourage Countess to experience it for herself before judging. It was my parents who were ridiculous and thought it was evil. I don't give two squirrels what the subject matter is or what light it's cast in. Same as my music. I watch movies or listen to songs because I enjoy them, not because they reflect or don't reflect a certain religious or world view.

Ahem, I asked what love is not marriage.

I answered what I think love is:

People who stay together because they WANT to, not because society or a piece of paper makes them feel they HAVE to. Honesty. Mutual respect, understanding, and concern.

I mean, I could also mention butterflies and not being able to think of anything but the one you love, being reminded of them in every song you hear and all that jazz, but that is more fleeting.

Is marriage necessarily a "forever" commitment, though? Legally speaking, it isn't much other than the government giving a seal of approval and giving you some tax breaks and such. And giving your significant other hospital visitation rights and stuff like that.

I don't care what it is, legally. I care about the vows. And people vow "forever". 50% of them break that promise. People should stop making promises they can't or won't keep.

For you, what makes "marriage" more of a sham than, say, two people who just remain together their whole lives and are committed to each other but don't actually get married?

Commitment is a beautiful thing...in action. Not in word. Words can be broken. Marriage is promising something one cannot (often) or should not (in my opinion) promise. If, however, two people simply stay together forever...great. They didn't make a promise, they're clearly doing it because they want to and they love each other, which is how it should be.

If you want to prove your love to me, don't make a sweeping romantic gesture that spouts commitment you cannot guarantee. SHOW ME you love me, by staying with me. Actions speak louder than words.

how is getting married and divorcing different than being in a long-term relationship and then breaking up?

You are breaking your vows. Dating relationships don't typically have such lofty promises attached to them. I feel they are more honest and genuine, and that without the strain of trying to keep a foolish yet very public promise, people are more apt to stay together because they ACTUALLY desire to, not due to any outside pressure.

Computer issues that will not be resolved, no matter the troubleshooting or professional help.

Have you recently had this?

Nope.

As for your little allegory excuse, Pilgrim's Progress does not glorify murder; Harry Potter's entire intent is to paint wizardry in a positive light. So think again, little missy!

Hmm, you're probably right.

Can we extract this portion of the internet for the archives? Thank you.

I don't want to biased for no reason.

Watch it/read it and make an informed decision for yourself.

Do you listen to rock music?

Of course. I listen to a little of everything.

What's your opinion on wedding dresses seeing you will never wear one?

They can be beautiful like any other dress, of course. A sweetheart neckline, lots of lace, and a bottom half that makes her look like a cupcake are all positives.

Do you like to attend weddings at all?

The only opinion I really hold here is that it's unpleasant to have to dress up for the occasion. I've only been to a few weddings, though...one when I was a kid that I remember, a Jewish wedding under a canopy, a pagan wedding involving swords, and my brother's wedding which was outside. My favorite was the pagan wedding, even though I was a hardcore Christian at the time. It was really beautiful, how the best man pledged his lifelong protection to the couple.

Dom

[kait]

So I guess my follow-up question is: Can't you get married without promising "forever?"

At the risk of sounding like person headed straight to a divorce, my husband and I sort of always operate under an assumption that maybe someday we might end up going our separate ways. We don't hold any lofty ideals that we will definitely 100 percent stay together FOREVER despite what either of us may want. We choose to be together every single day, with full knowledge that we would go our separate ways if that ever changed. And frankly I feel like that makes my marriage a strong and beautiful thing. Because it's something we both choose every day.

So in essence, I think you are correct that promising forever and then breaking that promise is kind of an awful thing to do. But what about marriage where, to the two people involved, it doesn't necessarily mean forever? It just means a commitment right now, at this point in our lives, and until the point (if that point every comes!) where we feel we can no longer be together. (Because at this point, I'm sort of gathering that your real issue is with the broken promise of forever more than two people actually being married?)

[Miss Friendship]

I was merely pointing out Countess' faulty comparison to a clearly-marked evil act in an allegory. The Bible is filled with violence and murder...does that mean you should go watch snuff films? Her logic is faulty. She was comparing a godly allegory that includes obviously evil acts, to something that glorifies acts which are against her religion.

The Bible is filled with violence and murder, yes, but I don't think it glorifies them as good. And in Pilgrims Progress the only "good" killing is of the Giants which are "sin." But yes, my logic is faulty. But HEY, I will admit when I'm wrong.

What do you think of my signature?

[Dom]

Can't you get married without promising "forever?"

Why would you? I mean, I suppose you could. But that seems to kind of contradict the whole point of marriage?

At the risk of sounding like person headed straight to a divorce, my husband and I sort of always operate under an assumption that maybe someday we might end up going our separate ways.

I don't think that sounds like you're headed for divorce, but I don't understand why you would make a commitment like marriage if that's how you two feel. I think that is a realistic feeling though, and I applaud you for having the nerve to admit that you could break up, weird though that may sound.

We choose to be together every single day, with full knowledge that we would go our separate ways if that ever changed. And frankly I feel like that makes my marriage a strong and beautiful thing. Because it's something we both choose every day.

Yes, that sounds more like my style. I just don't really understand why you bothered to get married, though. I always think of marriage as a lifelong expectation. I mean, it's right there in the vows. What made you decide to get married?

what about marriage where, to the two people involved, it doesn't necessarily mean forever? It just means a commitment right now, at this point in our lives, and until the point (if that point every comes!) where we feel we can no longer be together.

That is a concept I can get behind, except to be a broken record...I wouldn't actually get MARRIED for that. But that is how I view relationships. Go full tilt, yes. Give it everything. SHOOT for forever. HOPE for forever. TRY for forever. But don't PROMISE forever, because no one can.

I'm sort of gathering that your real issue is with the broken promise of forever more than two people actually being married?

Yes. I just associate marriage with "forever" so they are intertwined in my head. I've never heard of someone marrying while simultaneously thinking it may not last. That makes no sense in mah brainnnnnn. Why say "Until death do us part" if that isn't what you actually mean/think/expect?

The Bible is filled with violence and murder, yes, but I don't think it glorifies them as good.

It doesn't, that's the whole point.

And in Pilgrims Progress the only "good" killing is of the Giants which are "sin."

Again, the whole point. These things include evil acts but they are MARKED as evil. Harry Potter or snuff (and don't kill me people, I'm not truly COMPARING the two ) both glorify certain things [that you think are wrong] WITHOUT calling them "evil".

But yes, my logic is faulty.

Sweet Baby Jesus, I should take screenshots.

What do you think of my signature?

It looks like someone drowning. Does not likes.

Dom

[kait]

I guess, to me, marriage is defined however the two married people want to define it. Your vows can be whatever they want (we wrote our own). If the two married people view it as a lifelong expectation and vow it as such, then that's what it is for them. If the two married people want to use marriage to symbolize their commitment to each other, in this moment, right now and vow it as such, with the understanding that maybe it *won't* be forever, but that's what they hope ... then that's what the marriage is for them. (Because yours vows don't HAVE to include anything about death do you part. )

To me, marriage isn't one thing. It can be many things. It IS many things. It means something different to everyone who gets married.

Anyway. I was just asking you all those questions to try and understand your viewpoint more fully. Thanks for letting me grill you

[Dom]

we wrote our own

Care to share?

Thanks for letting me grill you

No problemo, always feel free to ask me anything.

Dom

[Miss Friendship]

What is one successful thing you've done that you are proud of?

Do you talk with your lover about anything worthwhile?

What's your favorite topic of conversation?

Have you ever read the Bible since becoming atheist?

What was your favorite book from the Bible?

Anything exciting happen today in your life?

[Tarol]

Dom's most successful thing was surviving over 20 years of her life without meeting you.

You like falsetto? Do you like Nick Pitera? I can hardly even use my falsetto. *complains to himself about being unsure about male head voice and falsetto*

Do you think you can sing high? What would you say your vocal range is (like, on a piano)?

Last book you read?

Does ungrammatical sentence makes you bothered?

[Dom]

What is one successful thing you've done that you are proud of?

Hmm, being promoted after just a few months was pretty sweet. Learning to snowboard inside two days and basically never falling again. Sticking with a long-term relationship for the first time. Thinking outside the box I was raised in. Oh, you said "one". WELL TOO BAD.

Do you talk with your lover about anything worthwhile?

Nah, we only ever talk about you.

What's your favorite topic of conversation?

Anything deep, I detest small talk.

Have you ever read the Bible since becoming atheist?

I told you I'm not an atheist. And no, haha. Definitely not.

What was your favorite book from the Bible?

Psalms and Revelation

Anything exciting happen today in your life?

For her birthday and Christmas, I gave my mom 2nd row/center tickets to a stage show she's crazy about, and we went tonight.

You like falsetto? Do you like Nick Pitera?

Yes and I love Nick Pitera.

*complains to himself about being unsure about male head voice and falsetto*

Be comfortable in your manliness!

Do you think you can sing high? What would you say your vocal range is (like, on a piano)?

I sorted this out using a piano years ago, and took a picture with the keys marked. I don't believe I can upload a picture directly into a post, but I can PM it to you. I have no idea what my range is, now. But I have yet to meet a Charlotte Church or Celtic Woman song I couldn't reach every note of. Now whether anyone wants to HEAR the dying whale call my voice makes when I HIT those notes, well...that's another story.

Last book you read?

Divergent...my sister-in-law gave it to me.

Does ungrammatical sentence makes you bothered?

It's purdy cute but I'd never wanna listen to that all the time.

Your set is ADORABLE, BTW. G'job, snubs.

Dom

[Miss Friendship]

Is there ever a movie you watched that you regretted watching?

If there is no God, does "sin" exist?

Your favorite kind of juice?

Favorite way to travel long distances?

What's the farthest place you've been away from home?

[Dom]

Is there ever a movie you watched that you regretted watching?

The Iceman Cometh (1960) was an absolute pathetic waste of time, I think that was literally the most bored I have ever been in my life, and I am NEVER bored. Sybil (1976) was fairly disturbing and I certainly didn't need that disgusting crud in my life. Thanks, latch.

If there is no God, does "sin" exist?

I believe in right and wrong, which is similar to good and evil, but "sin" or "holiness", nope.

Your favorite kind of juice?

ORANGE JUICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Favorite way to travel long distances?

I haven't done much traveling, but it would depend...

Planes are awesome for getting somewhere, fast. I love the experience, if I have a window seat. Otherwise it's pretty bleh, and I'm fairly sure I creep out the person who HAS the window seat, by constantly leeeeeeeaning over trying to see out of it.

I wouldn't have thought that going anywhere extremely far away by vehicle could be enjoyable, but I recently found out that it can be INCREDIBLE if you have the right person with you. It's much more controllable, as well...you can stop and take pictures whenever you want, and all that jazz.

What's the farthest place you've been away from home?

I've kind of hit the four edges; New York, California, Mexico, and Canada. I'm not sure which was the farthest away. My FAVORITE of those four, however, was New York, absolutely.

Dom

[Miss Friendship]

Otherwise it's pretty bleh, and I'm fairly sure I creep out the person who HAS the window seat, by constantly leeeeeeeaning over trying to see out of it.

/me imagines how creeped out she'd be if she had the window seat and Dom the Stranger was beside her

You do know you can choose your own seats these days?

Do you choose to have orange juice when flying?

What is one thing you wish people would invent?

Why was New York your favorite?

How old were you when you visited Mexico?

Do you have a good memory?

Ever seen Inside Out?

[Dom]

imagines how creeped out she'd be if she had the window seat and Dom the Stranger was beside her

Psh, last time I was on a plane, everyone simply adored me! Both the guy getting sloshed next to me, and the girl who told me allllllll about her ski trip and her brother and her family back home. SO THERE.

You do know you can choose your own seats these days?

I imagine if you're not on stand-by, that would be true, yes.

Do you choose to have orange juice when flying?

You bet your snazzy jacket I do!

What is one thing you wish people would invent?

A way to go back in time. Not time travel. GO BACK. In time. Reverse time. Return to an earlier version of oneself.

Why was New York your favorite?

I love the city, I love the lights, I love how there's so many interesting people everywhere and so much to do. San Francisco had plenty of similarities but just didn't feel the same, and I don't like that weather. Canada I barely saw, just Niagara Falls. Mexico was not a vacation.

How old were you when you visited Mexico?

Around twelve one of the times, but I'm not entirely sure. We went twice on missions trips.

Do you have a good memory?

It's very specific, but I certainly can. I will often remember extreme details about something from when I was five years old, but I forget someone's name the second it falls out of their mouth. It really depends.

Ever seen Inside Out?

I have, I took my niece to see it in the theater. I thought it was far too sad for a kids movie, but I liked it.

Dom

[Miss Friendship]

What do you think of all the threads honoring Helios?

Do you ever get sick? How do you cope?

What do you do when you are really angry?

What is Stand By exactly?

Do you like the prices of food in airports?

[HomeschoolCowgirl]

A guy sitting next to you got sloshed? By whom, and with what?
Do you plan to join the overwhelming surge of Heliositic thread titles?

[Tarol]

A guy sitting next to you got sloshed? By whom, and with what?

*coughs* Do you know what "being sloshed" means?

What's the smartest animal you've ever met/owned/etc.?

[Dom]

What do you think of all the threads honoring Helios?

It's juvenile, but I used to engage in such things on chat rooms...you know, when I was FIFTEEN...and enjoyed it immensely, so I just smile and move along, YA'LL PEEPS can have your silly fun.

Do you ever get sick? How do you cope?

For the majority of my life, I only got sick once per year, a terrible cold a few weeks before Christmas. I literally NEVER got sick any other time, and never had any health issues, and never caught any of the things my cousins were always cycling through. I've never had any of the "normal" things...strep throat, chicken pox, mono, pink eye, etc. etc. The chicken pox one is actually dangerous, apparently, because you really should get it as a child because it's safer then, whereas you can DIE OR STUFF, if you get the adult version without any immunity built up. Sooooo if you ever feel vengeful, you know, you can always just put a pox upon me, and the Dom shall cease to exist.

ANYWAY, to answer your question, yes I do get sick, more often the past several years as I moved to a new place and I think maybe there are some allergies going on, though I'm not allergic to anything I know of, but I started getting sinus infections which is really just similar to having a cold as far as symptoms go. I also had the FOR REAL flu, a few Christmases ago, and it was hellacious. I cope by trying to get on meds as early as possible, because despite my VERY medless childhood, I have discovered that some really are helpful and make being sick VERY bearable, rather than suffering like an IDIOT just because "pills are evil".

TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, I cope with being sick by trying to take care of myself, staying off all sugar, slurping water CONSTANTLY, usually with some sea salt to boost the electrolytes, staying in bed or sleeping as much as possible to give my body rest and let all my energy pour into getting better, and taking lots of steam showers. My secret right now is taking Zinc, which is just a supplement that has apparently been proven to shorten the life of a cold. Ever since I learned about it, I've started popping it the second I feel my nose or throat acting up, and thus far, I have not once been sick. We'll see how long that lasts, but it's been AWESOME, thus far. Lastly, I have a heating pad that is amazing when I'm sick, and it has a washable cover and you can wipe it down, so it's SANITARY and all that good stuffs. I also wash my sheets constantly when I'm sick, change out my toothbrush, and wash my thermos tons, so I'm not perpetuating things by letting germs hang around.

Anything ELSE you'd like to know, I'm sure that answer wasn't long enough for you. =| Oh, I also keep a Word document when I'm REALLY sick, and type up what meds I take at what time.

What do you do when you are really angry?

If it is severe, I start to mildly dissociate, honestly. My body tingles and goes numb, and I feel like my brain is floating off somewhere or trying to explode. Basically incapable of forming words and just feel like the world has gone white hot. It is extremely unpleasant.

If I am just your average angry, it depends on who I'm with/what it's about. If it's my mom or brother, I have no issue yelling at them in the moment, but I usually just leave the situation, it's pointless to yell. I will hole up in my room or just leave the house, or whatever the situation is, and focus on something else until I'm calm. Then I go into silent mode and just ignore them until I feel they are worthy of being spoken to, again. There's usually no point talking things out with them, my family was famous for sweeping everything under the rug and never dealing with anything.

If it's someone other than my immediate family, I typically try to remain as polite as possible. I have never yelled at anyone outside my family, and you would be hard-pressed to even find a situation where I have ever been rude. I am a silent seether, for the most part. (And yes, in case you're about to GO THERE, if I've been rude to you, it's probably something I would NEVER say in "real life". I'm way more blunt, online. I'm way more everything, online. Friendly, confrontational, blunt, confident, honest, sexually explicit, etc. etc. I like to think this is the real me, and the one people meet in person is the muted, socially acceptable version. The online me is technicolor. )

Back to being angry, if it's someone I'm in a relationship with, I'm not often angry, usually if something "should" make me angry, I feel hurt, instead. On the occasion I do get frustrated or irritated or angry, arguments happen. Mostly they don't even qualify as "fights". Just heated arguments, raised voices but not yelling. Things will just escalate until there is a breaking point, at which time all my frustration disappears and I am just awash with love and feeling bad for what has happened, and just want to be close and happy again.

What is Stand By exactly?

Stand-by is where you don't have a guaranteed seat on a plane, you only get on if someone cancels or doesn't show. Depending on where you're going and what time of day it is, sometimes you can ALWAYS get on, other times you may end up sleeping in the airport for two days, waiting.

Do you like the prices of food in airports?

I was in two airports recently, but I shot through like a bullet. Prior to that, the last time I even would have had a chance to buy airport food would have been 2011, and I don't remember if we did. I certainly don't remember the price. *shrug* I imagine it's expensive, BECAUSE IT CAN BE.

A guy sitting next to you got sloshed? By whom, and with what?

Refer to Ox, below.

Do you plan to join the overwhelming surge of Heliositic thread titles?

I do not.

A guy sitting next to you got sloshed? By whom, and with what?

*coughs* Do you know what "being sloshed" means?

Indeed. WAIT, WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, YOUNG MAN?

What's the smartest animal you've ever met/owned/etc.?

I think a lot of animals have the potential to appear extremely smart, they just don't have owners who take the time to train them in ways that exemplify that. The smartest-appearing animal I've met would be a pit bull belonging to a dog trainer I met at work, once. She was trained to his whistles and was pretty much at sheep-herding levels of directability, like so: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpjP3mxv21s

The smartest one I've owned would be my Australian Shepherd, who I miss.

Dom

[Mandy]

I cope by trying to get on meds as early as possible, because
despite my VERY medless
childhood, I have discovered that
some really are helpful and make
being sick VERY bearable, rather
than suffering like an IDIOT just because "pills are evil"

Your parents thought medicine is evil? Why?


Do you believe in anything after death?

What is the most amazing thing in the world?

Have you ever felt such deep pain in your heart that it actually took your breath away?

Do hearts heal after being broken? How?

What do you think of this quote: Time doesnt heal anything; it just teaches how to cope with the pain.

Why is it my second favorite thing to happen on the SS when you post in my thread?

Do you have any idea what my favorite thing to happen on the SS is?

If you could read all the thoughts that have gone thru my brain this past week what do you think your reaction would be?

Do you think I am stupid for believing in God?

Are there any foods that make you want to gag?

What is your greatest fear?

Is there anything in the world that is completely amazing and yet also the most horrific tragedy to ever exist?

Why am I asking you so many questions?