Raising Children in the Church

[Eleventh Doctor]

What should parents do if children decide they don't want to go to church anymore? I obviously don't mean the 2 year old who throws a fit but what if your 14 year old child decides they don't want to go anymore?

[SirWhit]

It depends on why they don't want to go. If they have a problem related to church, you work it out. If they're just being plain stubborn, my house, my rules.

[Eleventh Doctor]

What would be a problem related to church that you could work out? What if they had disagreements with doctrinal issues?

[SirWhit]

I meant if they had a problem (disagreement, etc.) with a person there. If they disagree with the doctrine, I would ask them to tell me why they disagree, and what verses support their disagreement.

[Eleventh Doctor]

Well to use myself as an example, I just felt like there were a lot of problem with organized religion as a whole. If they were feeling disillusioned with Christianity as a whole would you still force them to go to church?

[SirWhit]

I don't know.

[NateVONgreat]

as long as they live under their parents roof, the parents have the right to make them go. So they CAN force them, but that might not get the best results. I have no experience, I don't have any kids of my own, so all I can say is that you should pray for them, and let them know that they need to honor God with their lives

[Eleventh Doctor]

I mean yeah, they can force them by saying they'll ground them or by kicking them out of the house if they're 18 or older. But the discussion has really been should they be forced to go? As you say it might not get the best results and if they don't want to go to church or are having a difficult time spiritually, lecturing them that they need to honor God with their lives might cause further rebellion.

[Bethany Shepard]

Unless they have no respect for their parents (which, if they are brought up and they're parents are enforcing from a young age, standards of which they're learning at church, that shouldn't be a problem), normally, kids would obey their wish. We make kids to go to school, why is it such a terrible thing to make them go somewhere more important then a life time of schooling?

[Eleventh Doctor]

Because faith has to be their choice, if they're just forced to go and never discover faith on their own then they'll leave later no matter what.

[Bethany Shepard]

But if they aren't introduced to it, they won't have or know Him personally for themselves. Like Mr. Whits End said, it depends on why they don't want to go. Like if they don't want to get up early, then heck yeah, they're going, otherwise, bullying, not understanding the lesson, etc. can be discussed and acted upon in the correct fashion. What other reason would they not want to go?

They need the correct influences. If it's a attitude issue, you need to talk with them and figure out whats up. Maybe it's the crowd they're hanging around or just young teen attitude thing. Lots of the time all you can do is pray for them. Trust He knows what He's doing.

[Eleventh Doctor]

For me it was that I didn't believe in organized religion and had my doubts about God. That's a pretty common reason.

I agree that if the issue is bullying or not wanting to get up early that can be dealt with differently but if the issue is a genuine lack of faith and disinterest in going, what do you do?

[Bethany Shepard]

What do you mean by organized religion?

Again, talk very specifically why they don't believe and don't care. But since they still live in your house and you are their legal guardian, I would make them go. What else are you going to do? Do you have any thoughts?

[Eleventh Doctor]

Organized religion is any religious belief system that has official doctrines, organized leadership, and codified practices. This describes pretty much every Christian denomination.

I do have thoughts, do what my parents did with me. Don't force me to go, let me make my own decision, and don't risk alienating me from Christianity because it was forced on me against my will. That way I can make my own decision and come back, all be it a different tradition than the one I grew up in but still Christianity. What you shouldn't do is force them to go somewhere they don't like and create negative associations with church, Christianity, and God. Because then, like many of my friends, they will never go back.

[Bethany Shepard]

What kind of church did you end up finding?

What made you came to the right conclusion?

[Eleventh Doctor]

I ended up becoming Eastern Orthodox.

After I had been away from the church for awhile I started to question things and start looking for truth on my own. I read a book by a pastor called Timothy Keller that convinced me to start looking at Christianity again.

[Bethany Shepard]

I'm not exactly sure what you Eastern Orthodox believe, but I'd enjoy hearing about it.

But normally, I don't think people would just want to find out the truth for themselves, as you did. Especially at that young of an age. They need something pointing them in the right direction. I know that if I didn't have that faith, I would just and to live and die. Blame my life on Evaluation. (for, at a younger age, I considered it before.)

[Eleventh Doctor]

I'm not sure why you would blame your life on evolution but I agree we should be pointing children in the right direction, not dragging them kicking and screaming.

[Bethany Shepard]

I mean blaming the fact that I'm alive on Evaluation. Not because God specially made me.

Well, I have enjoyed this discussion and have no more to say on the subject. Thanks.