The E.R.K. (Emily Rules Klub)

[GratiaDei]

Well, PF, I was thinking Kevin because that's what Thor and I wanted the royal prince to be named. We thought it was wonderfully not royal. But the penguin from 3-2-1 Penguins is good. Or the giant mutant cockroach that lives under my bed and protects me from zombies (An inside joke in my family). Kevin it is.

*grabs painter's tape and tapes around the bulletproof windows* Wait, is our clubhouse underground?

"Ooh, Matthew, those numbers must be code! Grab me a pencil and paper!"

[Helios]

PF, you're older than me...you know that. Now we sound like we're from Up, with me being the mother. BTW, you missed the accent on your brother's name.

But yes, I'll be Wendy. I love cleaning house...and Peter Pan is really cute. *snickers* And if we really wanted this to be like Peter Pan (what with all the girls being the Lost Boys), you should be the father. Ma'am.

Gratia, every time I think of Kevin I think of Kevin Eleven from Ben Ten. But the Kevin under your bed is good, too.

"Barrett, seriously, if you don't ever ask a girl if she likes you, how will you know?"

[Pound Foolish]

Lovely quote, sir.

What do you mean weird, Rosy... I mean Tink? I'm never weird.

Just wanted to call our attention to something.

I think this klub is dying...no posts in three weeks!

Celll-ebrate good times, come on!

[Rosy]

*Rosy tries to respond but all that comes out is the sound of jingling bells*
Man, I totally forgot about that drawback.

[Purple Panda]

Kevin's good, Ollie's good.. yah know, I think we should just call you whatever feels appropriate in the moment.
I'm not entirely opposed to Pandie Pie (though it seems to be a variation spawning from a children's show)

We have an UNDERGROUND clubhouse?!!? That's awesome! Now I can begin implementing my plans for a titanium reinforced bomb shelter, fully stocked with pillows, brownie mix, and marshmallows!

[Helios]

I think this klub is dying...no posts in three weeks!

Celll-ebrate good times, come on!

I sing that song too sometimes, ma'am.

Yo, Panda, I like your idea. Call me whatever ya want...but tell me first so I know you're talking to me.

Ohooooo, I'm gonna stock my bomb shelter with powdered jello, cheese whiz, pretzels, and hot chocolate! And a full-size picture of Christina Puccelli will grace the front wall. And a pic of Metal so I can target-practice with a paint-ball gun.

[Purple Panda]

I think this klub is dying...no posts in three weeks!

Celll-ebrate good times, come on!

I sing that song too sometimes, ma'am.

Yo, Panda, I like your idea. Call me whatever ya want...but tell me first so I know you're talking to me.

Ohooooo, I'm gonna stock my bomb shelter with powdered jello, cheese whiz, pretzels, and hot chocolate! And a full-size picture of Christina Puccelli will grace the front wall. And a pic of Metal so I can target-practice with a paint-ball gun.

Silly, silly Kevin, the bomb shelter is a courtesy for everyone in the ERK. It will be super sized, probably even bigger and more luxurious than the actual clubhouse. After all, who wants to live out WWIII in squalor? Everyone can contribute to the stockpiles of pre-apocalyptic comforts and then we can watch the sniveling pleas for shelter of the KRE on our wireless big screen TVs.

[Helios]

*sigh* I love being called silly...

But aren't bomb shelters supposed to be small, dark, dank, and *ugh* rat-infested? What's the fun of living through a bloody massacre topside if you don't have no comforts down below? (btw, what's our plumbing situation? Metal got us a castle that had NO ELECTRICITY! And then said we'd use outhouses...ugh...)

I'll live in squalor!!! It's like doing penance to atone for my great mistake in joining KRE. I'm not so sure they'll be sniveling, tho. Those KRE are tough cookies. Maybe they'll threaten us with a double suicide by eating poison berries *rolls eyes*

[GratiaDei]

Well that would certainly be dramatic, Kevin, but that's the KRE for ya. I think indoor plumbing is a necessity, I wouldn't dream of going down there otherwise. Tell ya what, bake me a cake died green, and I'll make sure you get your very own bathroom (I can obviously make promises like that).

[Helios]

KRE=biggest drama klub on the planet. I should put that on my sig, lol...

I'm curious, Gratia: if there was no plumbing, would you stay topside while the KRE infested everything? Hm? Shall I frost it green as well? Green sprinkles? Green coconut? It's starting to look like Saint Patrick's Day around here. All right, the cake is delivered (in a green box, of course), and now I look forward to a long apocalypse with my own bathroom (papered in green of course; I'd put a pic of Emily in there too, but that's just too weird)

Oooo, I thought of another Emily-quote: “Of course Saint Patrick's Day is my favorite holiday. Look at all the green!”

[Purple Panda]

I don't think the whole plumbing thing is a necessary point, I mean, haven't we made it clear that the ERK is devoted to three things? (with subcategories) : 1) Upholding the honor of Emily (duh), 2) fellowship that tends to do with all things green, and 3) the finer luxuries of life. Plumbing is just a given in any ERK situation.
But still make the cake.

I'm afraid, Kevin, that you still bear foolish notions and assumptions from your time misspent at the KRE. If the world above is being torn to pieces, why not be prepared and relaxed, saving that which was good about our civilization below until the violence ends, or everyone else dies?

(You needn't do penance for any wrong doings; you've seen the light, all is forgiven, and you can begin to submit your ideas for bomb shelter decor. That's next on our list after junk food stockpiling.)

[Helios]

Ah, the finer luxuries of life. Emily would be so proud of us!

Everyone dies? We're....killing people? OH MY! *shock and horror* Can I help???

I thought of another junk food: malted milk balls. And falcons. I mean, we don't eat the falcons, we store our milk balls in them.

I think green plush couches would look nice in our shelter. We can get Ark....Dreamwalker to be our DJ and play Emilyophile-type music for us while we chill out.

[Purple Panda]

We (probably) won't be the ones killing anybody... everyone above might perish at the hands (proverbial or not) of zombies, nuclear war, natural disasters, aliens, etc... maybe all of the above

Green couches, great thinking. And I love the DJ idea. I'm thinking some extra touches of decor, like hand drawn Emily posters on the walls, lampshades, maybe above the toilets (because we've already established the plumbing thing)

MALTED MILK BALLS!!! Excellent. We can make the best "Chex" mix with MMBs, Double Stuffed Oreos, chocolate chips, and assorted candy; and then once a week, we can have a Falcon piñata full of the aforementioned mix. Thoughts?

[GratiaDei]

I second the motion. On behalf of all comfort-loving ERKers, I move that we get on with it.

*adds Doritos to the mix and then starts looking for a paintbrush*

"So Barrett, you went to Whit's End with Priscilla and you aren't calling it a date?!"

[Helios]

All the above, please! Then we can experiment on—uh, I mean—counsel the survivors of the Emilyocalypse.

I don't know, pics of Emily in the bathroom sound a little...insulting to her. I mean, here we are doing our business while her visage smiles on us from on high. Umm....no thanks. But hand-drawn Emily posters sound great! Sammy does some really nice pencil work.

I LOVE DOUBLE STUFFED OREOS!!! With green-mint icing, of course. But as a good friend once said, “Chocolate in moderation”. So only once a week is good.

I third the motion (do we have a fourth? ) *adds pretzels and spackles the bathroom in green*

“Honestly, you need to either pick Cindy or Priscilla! Stop leading both of them on.”

[Purple Panda]

Okay, okay, I guess I see your point about the bathroom. I merely thought that we should put Emily EVERYWHERE because it is, after all, an Emily themed bomb shelter. Ooh, we should also put those little soft-baked chocolate chip cookies into our weekly piñata!

You know what? I think I'll take it upon myself to design little green wristbands that we can distribute when we bring in survivors. Obviously we'll keep them in the Dungeon Room for a few days to make them think we live in the squalor you previously mentioned, making things like cable TV and weekly piñata Chex mix seem all the more sweet, and make them grateful we have taken them in. They might also appreciate Emily more.

Yikes, that actually just seems excessive.

"Matthew! How many times do I have to tell you? I know things, and sometimes you, well, you just don't."

[HomeschoolCowgirl]

Let's use Green 157 (or is 147?) Hmm...

I think it's Green #94...
*grins and runs for her life*

[Helios]

Weekly pinata! Yippee! Glad you're finally seeing the light about the bathroom... *breaks into uncontrollable snickers*

Dude, girl, you are WICKED!!! I like your style. We'll make the Dungeon Room a pit of unimaginable squalor—rats and all. Let's make green survival bracelets (ever seen those? They have like 10 yards of cord in them)

I just had an idea: a great big revolving head of Emily shining with green light on top of the roof, to draw the welcomed to our doorstep and to repel the unwelcomed. And our disco ball on the dance floor should definitely be Emily-themed—I just can't decide how. Thoughts?

“So, Matthew, we've solved the case of the gigantic ant-eating amphibious water monster from Bermuda. But why won't you tell me what you and Barrett were snickering about last night?”

*chases HomeSchooled Cowgirl down* You get back here and let me show YOU green paint!

[Purple Panda]

The disco ball can always cast beams of bright cheery light in different shades of green. Obviously the song selection will reflect qualities of Emily

I'm not wicked, I'm practical... Except that the idea of punishment just for rejecting Emily and our club seems a little harsh, especially since they barely survived the apocalypse.

The revolving head seems to me a little creepy, kinda like the bathroom posters. Maybe a giant neon sign with Emily's face and our club logo (do we have a logo?) that we can shine when we see survivors. Otherwise we can stay in stealth mode.

"I didn't do anything wrong...technically. Apparently I can't be helpful AND bend the rules."

[Pound Foolish]

Our clubhouse is coming along nicely, my lost Emilyophiles. *tries do a Southern accent* We're gonna raise this clubhouse, raise this clubhouse, 1,2,3,4... (Wink wink, Rosy.)

Alright, we're doing something different this time. Rather than just pick myself which ones I happen to think are best, I'll let you all vote to pick your top three. Here are all the quotes. Yes, that's the long row of text down below. You. Have. To. Read. It. All. Or. Else.

Orrr you could just skim it and pick a favorite. And no voting for yourself. (Helios.)

"You input does matter, Matthew. As long as it alines with my opinion."

"It's so hard to let things go. I feel like I've got to hold everything together. I guess if I stopped making everything go perfectly... I'd realize nobody really needs me to."

"Pleased to meet you, Harlow."

"Matthew, climb up on that mailbox so we can get a better view of our suspect, BL!"

"Seriously, Barret, just because Priscilla slapped you doesn't mean she doesn't like you. Trust me: girls always do stuff like that to boys they like." (Golly, Priscilla stays away for a whole album, and when she comes back, the first thing she does is slap Barrett!)

"Don't be silly Mathew. Detectives never fall in love. And I certainly never have."

"You know, Barret, there's more to life than video games."


"Matthew, a true detective isn't guided just by facts. We have to learn to read our feelings as well."

"Well, Dad, for pancakes, you generally want to use more flour than salt. Also, a little baking powder wouldn't hurt. Didn't the recipe call for milk?"

"Everyone is equally intelligent, especially me."

"Sherlock Holmes and Encyclopedia Brown, pshaw. I could solve those mysteries in my sleep, WITHOUT a sidekick. No offense, Matthew."


“Ooooo, another mystery! We so have to take this one, Matthew!”

"Ooh, Matthew, those numbers must be code! Grab me a pencil and paper!"


"Barrett, seriously, if you don't ever ask a girl if she likes you, how will you know?"

"So Barrett, you went to Whit's End with Priscilla and you aren't calling it a date?!" (Rats. There's more to love than eating ice cream together? That's what's important, isn't it?)

“Honestly, you need to either pick Cindy or Priscilla! Stop leading both of them on.”

Matthew! How many times do I have to tell you? I know things, and sometimes you, well, you just don't."

“So, Matthew, we've solved the case of the gigantic ant-eating amphibious water monster from Bermuda. But why won't you tell me what you and Barrett were snickering about last night?”

"I didn't do anything wrong...technically. Apparently I can't be helpful AND bend the rules." (You can... can't you?)

Alright, there were a lot of entries. So please feel free to let me know if I missed some.

Hopefully, this will go well and we'll get a decent number of votes. Or maybe, no one wants to bother voting on made-up quotes. But my bet is your dying to vote on made-up quotes. What else could one possibly do with one's time?

There you are, all the lovely and creative lines. You all seem to be doing a marvelous job. May the Emilyest Emily entry win... what shall the prize be? Ah, may the best entry win the Golden Tutu embroidered with verminoids, riddles,falcons, and Circus Cannons. Meantime, everyone have some malt balls, and continue building our new clubhouse! You know, I could do with a throne...