Joke Central

[EugeneforPresident]

Here's some jokes i bet you'll like...

What gets lost every time you stand up?

Your lap.

What do giraffes have that no other animals have?

Little giraffes.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

Time to get a new fence.

What goes up when the rain comes down?

An umbrella.

What is big and red and eats rocks?

A big read rock eater.

[C-guy]

Here's some jokes i bet you'll like...

What gets lost every time you stand up?

Your lap.

What do giraffes have that no other animals have?

Little giraffes.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

Time to get a new fence.

What goes up when the rain comes down?

An umbrella.

What is big and red and eats rocks?

A big read rock eater.

Nice challening but simple riddle jokes.]

[EugeneforPresident]

Nice challening but simple riddle jokes.]

thanks! I got them out of a book. This is my 300th post!!!! Yay!!!!

[Tea Ess]

Congratulations! Those were some good riddles!

[EugeneforPresident]

Congratulations! Those were some good riddles!

Thanks!!:O)

[Pound Foolish]

A doctor's phone rang. "Hello?" she said.
Person: "My friend and I were going hunting, and my friend got attacked by a squirrel. I think he's dead. What do I do?"
Doctor: "Well, first make sure he's dead."
Person: BLAM!!! "OKay, now what?"

[EugeneforPresident]

A doctor's phone rang. "Hello?" she said.
Person: "My friend and I were going hunting, and my friend got attacked by a squirrel. I think he's dead. What do I do?"
Doctor: "Well, first make sure he's dead."
Person: BLAM!!! "OKay, now what?"

Wait I don't get it...

[Doll]

EugenefroPres, this is how the last line should go:

A doctor's phone rang. "Hello?" she said.
Person: "My friend and I were going hunting, and my friend got attacked by a squirrel. I think he's dead. What do I do?"
Doctor: "Well, first make sure he's dead."
The Doctor hears a gunshot.
Person: "Okay, now what?"

[EugeneforPresident]

Ohhhh I get it!!

[Suzy Lou Foolish]

A doctor's phone rang. "Hello?" she said.
Person: "My friend and I were going hunting, and my friend got attacked by a squirrel. I think he's dead. What do I do?"
Doctor: "Well, first make sure he's dead."
Person: BLAM!!! "OKay, now what?"

Oh my gosh, that's terrible, yet hilarious!

[Stella C.]

A doctor's phone rang. "Hello?" she said.
Person: "My friend and I were going hunting, and my friend got attacked by a squirrel. I think he's dead. What do I do?"
Doctor: "Well, first make sure he's dead."
Person: BLAM!!! "OKay, now what?

Oh my gosh, that's terrible, yet hilarious!

I agree!!!!!

[C-guy]

A doctor's phone rang. "Hello?" she said.
Person: "My friend and I were going hunting, and my friend got attacked by a squirrel. I think he's dead. What do I do?"
Doctor: "Well, first make sure he's dead."
Person: BLAM!!! "OKay, now what?"

Ha-ha!

[Pound Foolish]

Good, glad I pleased everyone for once.

[Tea Ess]

That one was so funny! (oh, and here, if someone respectfully disagrees with you, that means that they care deeply about you)

[ArnoldtheRubberDucky]

This is a hysterical joke I found on a Christian joke site!:

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

[George the Penguin]

That's great!


Sign behind an Amish carriage:


"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.

CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"

[Pound Foolish]

HYSTERICAL, is right 101! Oh Boy! And pretty amusing, George. I actually wasn't deliberately fishing for a compliment, TS, but thank you, I'm flattered.

[Suzy Lou Foolish]

Ah, so we are doing Amish jokes now? (I love the Amish by the way, and I have some very dear friends who are Amish) But anyways...here's one I've always thought was hilarious:D


An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, "Go get your Mother."

[Mr. Smiley]

HAHAHA! Wow, that one's good!

[HannahJ.]

LOL funny