Harlow Doyle: Mindless Moron or Malicious Mastermind?
By Elf of Rivendell
| June 1, 2003
Harlow Doyle.
The typical buffoon. The
type to wear differently colored socks every day, wake up in the noon, and
use dishwasher soap for mouthwash. After
hearing him for many years, we must raise the inevitable question.
Is Harlow Doyle really what he appears to be?
From the various
Odyssey episodes in which Harlow has appeared, I have deduced that Harlow
is not what he claims to be. Many
of his various “accidental” mishaps have caused dire consequences.
How stupid can he be?
Yes, Harlow is
stupid. Incredibly stupid,
but who would be stupid enough to not know what kind of trouble can be
cause by wearing two differently colored socks?
Imagine that you are
Harlow for a while. You walk
out in the street like that. (If you cannot decide which of your socks
would work, then that purple sock with green stripes and the red one with
gaudy yellow polka dots would be acceptable.
What better use for those socks in your drawer you can’t find
matches for? But I digress.)
You walk out on the
street. It’s another normal day in your town. The mailman is delivering the mail and chitchatting with an
old lady. A few kids are
riding their bikes down to a certain soda shop.
One of them spots your socks out of the corner of his eye and
abruptly stops to get a better look.
The other kid who was riding behind him can’t stop in time, hits
the other bike, and both of them stumble onto the busy road where cars
zoom by at 100 miles per hour.
Or, if you want an
alternate ending, the two kids tumble off their bikes, only to collide
headfirst with the mailman’s bicycle.
(Or motorcycle. Take your pick.) Envelopes
and packages fly everywhere, many landing on the aforementioned busy road
where cars zoom by at 100 miles per hour.
That night, many citizens wonder about those letters, birthday
presents, and other mail articles they were expecting.
One of them is a wealthy business owner who has been expecting a
letter from another business. It never arrives, and his company loses a major customer...
eventually going bankrupt.
Needless to say, both
outcomes are less than pretty. Pieces
of paper blowing around streets with mud and chewed gum clinging to them
aren’t usually described as “pretty”. Unless,
of course, you happen to be an unusual person who takes delight in
messiness.
Neither are broken
bones pretty. Often, the skin above the area of the broken bone swells up
and turns a nauseating hue of magenta.
Again, this may depend on the observer, but skin turned purple or
magenta is not generally thought to be pretty.
Anyways, back to the
topic at hand. Not even the
most foolish fool can ignore the devastating consequences that immediately
become possibilities as soon as one walks out the door attired like that!
Considering this, we have ample reason to doubt if Harlow is really
doing that by mistake. Could
he be trying to destroy local businesses and separate families, so that he
can weaken the harmony and peacefulness of the town?
And when he achieves that goal, it will be quite easy to destroy or
take control of the town! It
is highly possible that he is just posing as an idiot.
Then we come to the
issue of the water park deal. Harlow
obviously targeted the would-be owner of the water park beforehand.
At least 50 people (pedestrians and vehicles) were in the way of
Harlow’s motorcycle. Why
did he have to hit that particular man’s car?
Also, it appears very convenient that Harlow was turning the corner
the same time the as the man. That
way, it would look very much like an accident.
Very well timed, I must note.
Finally, Harlow never
even appeared once in the Novacom Saga.
Why? He has been conveniently missing throughout the whole ordeal!
Harlow might have been involved in the Novacom saga... or perhaps
masterminded it
Yes, I admit the idea
is far-fetched, but what other position could he have had?
He had been living in Odyssey for so long and knew them well. He knew it was the time to strike and began to put his plans
into action.
For those who have stayed with me
this far:
Thank you!
You probably would dismiss this article as the inane babblings of a
slightly crazed (well, Jared Walczak would argue that I’m extremely
crazed, please ignore his comments about me) AIO fan.
Yes, I agree that much of the words that proceed out of my lips
might be inane, and I might be slightly crazed, but after hearing Harlow
for so long, I could not suppress my desire to express my opinion about
him.
If I’m wrong...
then you can dismiss this as the inane babblings of a slightly crazed AIO
fan.
If
it turns out that I’m correct... I told you so!
Back to Articles
|
