Monica Attempts to Write Fanfic

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Monica Stone
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Monica Attempts to Write Fanfic

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It shouldn't come as a surprise to you guys that I love writing. But to be perfectly honest, I rarely write any sort of fiction (fanfiction or otherwise) and enjoy writing about fiction which I am passionate about. But every so often, I love writing one-shots, so this thread is dedicated to any one-shots that I choose to write and then share. I likely won't post here often.

This piece under the spoiler tag is an Emily Jones introspection following "The Rydell Revelations." So, uh, I remember I pouring my heart and soul into this in October 2020. Whether or not it is good is up for debate. I didn't conclude it, so the last few paragraphs I wrote this month & proofread everything. But yeah, most of this was written in October. I love character introspections & Emily so what better than combine them? This was mostly written prior to album 70's release, so it may be slightly inconsistent with the current canon. I completed this in a way that feeds into LCTWTO and hopefully album 71. I think it still works pretty well. Hope ya enjoy it...despite the fact it's very gloomy. And it's long.

Emily Jones laid in bed and stared blankly at her mint green walls. Green. It had always been her favorite color. Her belongings nearly bathed in green. Some called it excessive, she always defended it as comfort. She eyed her possessions with weariness. What had been so appealing to her about green anyway? She no longer had any zeal for it— or any color, for that matter. Her eyes wandered around the room, glazing over her belongings. Her clothes were green, her backpack was green, her walls were green, her phone was green.

Her phone.

It had been a week since she discovered the truth about the Rydells. And since then, Emily felt the need to change her phone password every day after school. Whenever at school, she felt as though she had to keep an eye on her phone at all times. Otherwise, she felt her phone was vulnerable to be hijacked by Morrie. Her paranoia was getting the better of her. The reasonable side of her brain tried to fight against her paranoia. It was irrational...wasn’t it?

She felt violated by the Rydells. They were clever. Too clever. And they used their cleverness against her. Before they arrived, she and Matthew had always been the most deductive, analytical kids in their school. Her intellect had felt like an advantage; it had provided her with a false sense of security. Now she didn't feel smart enough. For months, the Rydells had outsmarted and outmaneuvered her. For months, she was clueless as they toyed with her, Matthew, Olivia, and Zoe. They used her to play their twisted games. And Whit stood idly by and watched. She scoffed at herself bitterly. And to think she used to pride herself on being a good judge of character. Her new friends — or at least who she thought were her friends — had been using her for their sick amusement ever since they first laid their eyes on her. And Whit. She had admired Mr. Whittaker, especially after he let her peak into his past through the Imagination Station to show her his failed aspirations and dreams. He had been a mentor and almost been like a grandfather to her. She'd known him for as long as she could remember. And yet he aided the Rydells in their deception. How could she have been so dense?

"You three need to use your abilities. To use them...for good," Whit had said.

What good came out of any of this? she asked herself again and again. What good was Whit referring to? She didn't know the answer, nor did she want to if it meant talking to Whit. All she wanted to do was avoid him and the Rydells.

She thought back to the escape room. For the first time in her life, she disliked solving a mystery. She never thought that it was possible until that incident. But it wasn’t just a simple dislike for the case. She genuinely hated the escape room and everything that followed. The memory of the escape room was fresh and she couldn't forget a second of it. She knew the danger was a ruse. She knew she wasn't actually going to suffocate. She and Matthew were safe. Mr. Whittaker and Suzu had said as much. Mr. Whittaker had put great emphasis on the fact she hadn't actually been in danger and there was nothing to fear. She intellectually knew it to be true, but why did hearing that sentiment repeatedly feel so invalidating? He was right, but it didn't help ease her anxious mind. She still remembered the tantalizing fear she felt in the moment. She squeezed her eyes shut as she remembered the dim glow of the candle in that cramped escape room. It had hardly provided enough light to see her surroundings. Hardly enough light to illuminate the haunted, terrified look on Matthew's face. She remembered how hard she had tried to control her shaking when she sacrificed the mask for Matthew. For a moment, she had felt good about her decision. Then the gravity of her decision hit not a moment later as she realized that this was the end. She was going to die. An unusual feeling of claustrophobia had swept over her as her eyes darted around the escape room which had started feeling smaller and smaller. Her heart beat quickly as she desperately inhaled air. Her imagination began playing tricks on her during those final moments imprisoned in the room. A few times, she thought breathing was becoming difficult under the pretense that she was going to suffocate. She recognized now that that was her fear talking.

Emily shuddered. Too often she found herself dwelling over the escape room or the kidnapping program (as she so icily called it) or her real kidnapping. She didn't try to obsess over those events. It just happened. She often fell down a rabbit hole of thoughts before she even remembered to stop herself. She blinked at her self-awareness. Here she was again, obsessing over the escape room again. It was time to stop.

She was reminded of how good Matthew was at getting her mind off things. He had always been a good friend and partner. Recently, she and Matthew hadn't been talking as much as they used to. They reconciled on Friday, exactly a week ago, and had talked after church on Sunday about everything that had happened to Emily and the Rydell revelations just a couple of days prior. As she awkwardly retold the story, Matthew listened in disbelief. He didn't say much when she told him the story. He asked if she okay, she lied, he asked a few more questions, asked her if she needed anything, and she lied again. Then Camilla ran up to them to inform Matthew that it was time to leave. With a quick hug and a kind "see you later", Matthew was off.

They had encountered each other in school each day following that Sunday, but things didn't feel the same for Emily. With Matthew, she didn't know what to say or how to continue their friendship. The Jones and Parker Detective Agency had been a touchpoint for their friendship. Both of their lives were everchanging, but the Jones and Parker and been the one constant they could always connect over. Now what was she supposed to do? She knew Matthew, but now she felt alienated. She supposed she could talk to him again and tell him how she was really feeling, but she always opted to not discuss her emotions. She only did so when push came to shove. She would often act on her feelings, thus betraying them, but she didn't like discussing them. And right now, she didn't even know how to begin vocalizing her thoughts. Even if she could, she didn't want to burden Matthew with any of that. She trusted him with her life, but not her feelings.

Why am I so afraid to be honest with Matthew? she asked herself. He's my best friend. She bit her lip thoughtfully. Maybe it was because Matthew himself hadn't been comfortable sharing his feelings with her.

"The truth is...I've been avoiding talking to you about this for a long time," he had told her before he resigned from the agency. He had visibly been working up the courage to tell her the moment they entered the escape room, but she had denied it to herself and even to him until he blatantly laid it out for her. Was she truly that bad a friend that he struggled to communicate his own desires to her? She felt distressed at her possible revelation.

She stared up at her ceiling. It was mid-afternoon and her room was not only clothed in green, but also in bleakness. The dull afternoon light crept through her windows and her room screamed of dreariness. She stared at her green room again, this time not with weariness but frustration. She again wondered what on earth had been so appealing to her about green anyway? Why couldn't her favorite color still provide her a sense of comfort? It wasn't just the color, she realized.

She had often been described by herself and others as passionate and tenacious. She definitely didn't fit those descriptions as of late. She plastered a fake smile on her face and dragged herself to school. The things she had once found joy in no longer held the same appeal. Not only that, she was no longer sure of herself or any of her supposed abilities or talents — the Rydells had seen to that. She felt raw and insecure like never before. She felt...wrong. She felt emotions she didn't want to feel and didn't even know how to process. And she hated it. God certainly hadn't helped her any.

Why couldn't the Rydells have just stayed in Japan?

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes. She didn't know what to do.

One more try.

"God," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and folding her hands in prayer. "If you're even listening, please help me. I don't want to feel like this anymore. Please...just take these feelings away. You know I can't handle this. Please." She opened her eyes.

She felt nothing.
Notes:
1 Corinthians 10:13: There hath no temptation taken hold of you but such as is common to man. But God is faithful; He will not suffer you to be tempted beyond that which ye are able to bear, but with the temptation will also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

It can be a hard message to hear, but God won't tempt or allow you to suffer more than you can bear. Emily, in this fic and in canon, is struggling. And I get it. I would say God put her through a lot but that was the writers' doing lol. :anxious: In all seriousness, these are real struggles and I can relate to some of them. But she can make it out more resilient and stronger in her faith, even when it seems hopeless.

Edit: Fixed some typos and a little bit of wording for clarity's sake![/i]

Constructive criticism is very welcome. As I stated above, I usually write about fiction and not fiction itself. I'd love to improve.
Last edited by Monica Stone on Fri Apr 09, 2021 8:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Polehaus53
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I like this, good job! Emily fan fiction is always fun to read. Great theme as well. I hope to see more! :yes:
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“We have it translated in every language: (กฎของเอมิลี่, Emily es la mejor, 艾米莉规则, Emily Quy tắc!, エミリーは最高です, emilyyay ulesray!, Эмили Правила!, Emily é a melhor, एमिली नियम!, Emily est la meilleure!, إميلي هي الأفضل!, Emily Kuralları!, אמילי שולטת!, Emily Regeln!, 에밀리 담당!, Si Emily ang pinakamahusay!, എമിലി രാജ്ഞിയാണ്!, એમિલી નિયમો!) that Emily RULES!”~The E.R.K.
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ByeByeBrownie
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That was so good!!! :clap: :clap: :clap:
Monica Stone wrote:
Mon Apr 05, 2021 5:28 pm
She trusted him with her life, but not her feelings.
I FELT THAT.
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MonkeyDude
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This was awesome, man! I enjoyed every second of it! The vocabulary and descriptive words you used were absolutely on point.
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Bob
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I don't like all AIO fan fiction (or, for that matter, all of actual AIO ;) ), but yours is right on the mark. You portray a vulnerable and wounded character very well. It's the sort of piece that gets people clamoring for a sequel, or a series. I don't know if that's something you'd be interested in, but your writing ability is no reason to be wary of it.
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Monica Stone
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I appreciate the support! It is very encouraging and I'm glad you guys found enjoyment in this.
Bob wrote:
Fri Apr 09, 2021 4:23 pm
I don't like all AIO fan fiction (or, for that matter, all of actual AIO ;) ), but yours is right on the mark. You portray a vulnerable and wounded character very well. It's the sort of piece that gets people clamoring for a sequel, or a series. I don't know if that's something you'd be interested in, but your writing ability is no reason to be wary of it.
First of all, thank you so much! I wasn't very confident in posting this but I hoped a least a couple of people would enjoy this. And secondly, I hadn't considered writing a part 2, but now I'll consider it! I'm not sure if I'd keep it in the introspective style, but I'll definitely think about it.
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PennyBassett
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Please post more!! I absolutely love your writing style, and always appreciate the type of fanfiction that really explores characters' thought processes. Well done!
"Let me get this straight. I bet all those non-friends of yours try to embarrass you about your love for that stuff, right? So, you almost feel like you have to hide your treasures away and can only take them out in secret on rainy days when your mom goes to the store to get more liver and nobody is around to berate your sensitive spirit. Is that what you’re saying?" -Jay Smouse
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