Chapter 1
I was relieved to be done with school. There were teachers meetings so we were off for the next four days. I walked up the steps of our porch, opened the door and walked into the kitchen, humming. I dug through the pantry trying to find something to eat.
“Jules?” I heard Connie say from the other room. It sounded like she was crying.
I grabbed an apple and walked into the living room. Connie was sitting on the couch, tears running down her face.
“Connie, what- what happened? Are you okay?” I asked as I set my backpack down slowly.
“Jules, it’s dad.”
“What about him?”
“I just got a call from his girlfriend. She said that he had gotten drunk and took his car out. He got in a reck.”
“Is- is he okay?”
“No Jules, he, um- he died.”
“What?” I felt like a sledgehammer had hit me.
“I- I’m sorry,” Connie finished as more tears rolled down her cheeks.
I took a breath, “Typical, so typical. Of course he was drunk! Am I supposed to be surprised?”
I walked to the door.
“Jules! Wait!” Connie called as I slammed the door shut.
I hopped on my bike and rode the three blocks to the Meltsner’s house. I pounded on their door.
“Jules?” Katrina said in surprise as she opened the door. I stepped inside. I looked over and saw Buck laying on the couch. He was looking at his phone with his headphones in. He glanced up.
“Jules? What’s wrong?” He asked as he got up quickly and came over.
“It’s dad. He- he died,” I said, refusing to cry.
“When? How?” Katrina asked slowly.
“Connie got a call. He was drunk and got in a car accident.”
“Oh, Jules. I’m so sorry,” Katrina said and put her hand on my shoulder. I flinched. I sat down on their couch. Buck sat next to me.
“Are you okay?” He asked slowly.
“I’m fine, I mean, he didn’t love me, so why should I care? He’s dead and can’t ruin anyone’s life anymore.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“Yeah,” I said coldly.
I stood up, “I’m going on a walk. I’ll see you later.”
“Can I come?” He asked.
I took a breath and clenched my jaw, “I guess.”
We walked in silence for a while until we found a bench in Macalister Park and sat down.
“It’s okay to be sad you know?” Buck said.
“No, it’s not. That’s a sign of weakness. I can’t afford that,” I said as I looked at my shoes.
“I used to think the same thing after Mr.Skint left me. I realized that I was carrying a burden that I didn’t need to. I had to chose to forgive him, and some of that included being willing to be sad.”
“You sound like a Christian,” I laughed.
“Sorry. I guess that’s what happens when you live in a Christian house, go to youth group and stuff.”
“Makes sense. At least Connie doesn’t make me go.”
“Hey, you should come sometime, it’s really fun. You just have to ignore what you don’t want to hear.”
“Maybe I’ll go, sometime...”
“Okay, no pressure.”
“Bye Buck, see you later!” I said as I stepped onto our porch.
“Bye Jules... Wait, who sent flowers?” Buck asked.
“Flowers?”
“The ones to your left.”
“Oh.”
I bent down and picked them up.
The note said, “To Connie. I hope you feel better soon. I will be praying for you and your sister.”
I looked at Buck. He shrugged.
“I guess I should take these to Connie. See ya.”
I stepped inside and walked into Connie’s room holding the flowers carefully. She was sitting in bed looking at her laptop, eating Cheetos. Her eyes were puffy.
“Oh, hi Jules. Whoa, who are the flowers for?”
“They’re for you. They were on the porch.”
I sighed and handed them to her as I sat at the foot of her bed.
“Oh! There beautiful! I wonder who they’re from?”
“I don’t know. The tag didn’t say.”
“Oh. Too bad.”
Connie got out of bed. I followed her into the kitchen and watched her put the flowers in a vase.
“I’m sorry I ran off, I don’t know what happened.”
“It’s fine... Where’d you go?”
“To the Meltsner’s.”
“Oh, okay. Listen, we have to go to LA tomorrow for the funeral. We’ll have to drive because I couldn’t get any plane tickets on short notice. We’ll also be staying at dad’s house.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s free and we need to pack stuff up. I talked to the funeral home director and we decided that we didn’t want a viewing. Is that okay with you?”
“Um, yeah. I guess,” I said, shrugging, “Connie, why is this so hard for you? You didn’t exactly have an amazing relationship with dad either.”
“Jules, it’s hard for me because dad wasn’t a Christian. I can’t believe that he went to heaven. I’m grieving for him.”
“That’s sad. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t believe in God,” I muttered.
Connie sighed, “Jules, I pray that you will believe. I hope that one day God will show himself to you.”
I got up and walked out of the room, “Me too,” I whispered.
I sluggishly walked up the stairs to my room. I crashed on my bed and stared at the ceiling. ‘Mom!’ I thought and quickly picked up my phone.
“Hey, mom. It’s Jules,” I said hesitantly.
I hadn’t talked to her in over four months.
“Oh, hi honey, guess what! I’m in the Bahamas for a-“
“Mom! I don’t care. Just listen. Did you hear about dad?”
“Oh yeah. I heard.”
She didn’t sound the least bit perturbed.
“Does that mean you’re going to the funeral?” I asked slowly.
“Oh no. Why would I? Your father was a selfish brat. I have no reason to go.”
“Okay then... Talk to you later.”
“Wait, Jules-“
I turned my phone off and swallowed.
I lay on the couch watching a documentary on Giraffes. After around two hours Connie emerged from her room.
“Jules, can you run to the store for me? We need some stuff for the drive tomorrow.”
“Fine.”
I slid off the couch and got my shoes on. I pulled my black hoodie on and hopped on my bike. Once I got to Finamins Market I looked at the list. SMALL MILK was at the top.
I walked to the milk aisle. I grabbed the smallest milk carton on the row. I turned around and bumped into Jason.
“Whoa, Jules!” He said.
“Oh, hi Jason.”
“I didn’t recognize you in the hoodie. I heard what happened. How are you guys?”
“I’m okay. Connie’s been crying all day though.”
“Oh, that’s understandable. Tell her I’m sorry. Oh and um, did she like the flowers?”
I raised an eyebrow, “So it was you?”
He looked at me for a second with a smirk then said, “See you, Jules. And uh, don’t mention this to Connie, will you?” And turned to the next aisle.
I got the rest of the things and headed home. I opened the door and stumbled into the kitchen with a load of groceries. I set the bags down with a thud. Connie came in.
“Katrina invited us to dinner. We need to go in the next ten minutes.”
“Okay,” I said as I unloaded the bags.
We arrived at the Meltsner’s and knocked on the door. Buck opened it and let us in.
“Hi, Jules.”
“Hey,” I muttered, feeling numb inside.
“Okay...um, we’re having enchiladas for dinner.”
“Cool.”
“Come on!”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the dining room where everyone else was. We sat down at the table. I looked up as Eugene prayed to see Buck with his eyes closed. I clenched my jaw and exhaled. Eugene finished and we all dug into our amazing food. After we had eaten Buck suggested we play a game. We all headed over to the couches. I sat down on the carpet next to Buck. Katrina put out the board for Ticket to Ride.
About halfway through the game, Buck said, “Hey, Jules, I’m going have to cut you off. Sorry.”
I raised my eyebrows at him as he put his piece in front of mine.
“Ha!” I said triumphantly and blocked him from another angle.
He put on a fake look of horror.
I smirked, “Hey, I can make a comeback. Sorry, Connie looks like you’re gonna lose!” I laughed for the first time today.
“Hey!” Connie said and bit her lip.
“It seems as though Jules and Buck are tied in the middle,” Eugene said and studied the board carefully.
“Of course we are,” Buck smiled.
Connie looked back and forth between us skeptically then turned her attention back to the game.
Eugene won the game as expected, Katrina came in second, Buck third, I got fourth and Connie came in last. We walked to the door. Buck gave me a hug.
“Have fun tomorrow. And call me if you want to talk.”
“Okay, I will.”
Connie and I walked out to the car.
“Okay Jules, we need to leave around 8:00 tomorrow morning so be up on time. And we’re going to trade off driving this time.”
“What! Why?” I looked at her in shock.
“Because I can’t drive 28 hours straight and now that you have your driver's license you can drive too.”
“But I can’t.”
“Why? You drive all the time by yourself and with Buck.”
“Yeah but, not with you.”
“Is that a problem?”
“Yes! I can’t drive with you freaking out every second! I barely survived driving with you when I had my permit. I can’t survive for 28 hours!”
“Sorry, Jules. You’ve gotta do it. And it’ll be a good experience for both of us.”
“Ugh, fine!”
Once we were home I went up to my room to pack. I stuffed some clothes into my suitcase then went to bed.
“Jules?” I heard Connie say from the other room. It sounded like she was crying.
I grabbed an apple and walked into the living room. Connie was sitting on the couch, tears running down her face.
“Connie, what- what happened? Are you okay?” I asked as I set my backpack down slowly.
“Jules, it’s dad.”
“What about him?”
“I just got a call from his girlfriend. She said that he had gotten drunk and took his car out. He got in a reck.”
“Is- is he okay?”
“No Jules, he, um- he died.”
“What?” I felt like a sledgehammer had hit me.
“I- I’m sorry,” Connie finished as more tears rolled down her cheeks.
I took a breath, “Typical, so typical. Of course he was drunk! Am I supposed to be surprised?”
I walked to the door.
“Jules! Wait!” Connie called as I slammed the door shut.
I hopped on my bike and rode the three blocks to the Meltsner’s house. I pounded on their door.
“Jules?” Katrina said in surprise as she opened the door. I stepped inside. I looked over and saw Buck laying on the couch. He was looking at his phone with his headphones in. He glanced up.
“Jules? What’s wrong?” He asked as he got up quickly and came over.
“It’s dad. He- he died,” I said, refusing to cry.
“When? How?” Katrina asked slowly.
“Connie got a call. He was drunk and got in a car accident.”
“Oh, Jules. I’m so sorry,” Katrina said and put her hand on my shoulder. I flinched. I sat down on their couch. Buck sat next to me.
“Are you okay?” He asked slowly.
“I’m fine, I mean, he didn’t love me, so why should I care? He’s dead and can’t ruin anyone’s life anymore.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“Yeah,” I said coldly.
I stood up, “I’m going on a walk. I’ll see you later.”
“Can I come?” He asked.
I took a breath and clenched my jaw, “I guess.”
We walked in silence for a while until we found a bench in Macalister Park and sat down.
“It’s okay to be sad you know?” Buck said.
“No, it’s not. That’s a sign of weakness. I can’t afford that,” I said as I looked at my shoes.
“I used to think the same thing after Mr.Skint left me. I realized that I was carrying a burden that I didn’t need to. I had to chose to forgive him, and some of that included being willing to be sad.”
“You sound like a Christian,” I laughed.
“Sorry. I guess that’s what happens when you live in a Christian house, go to youth group and stuff.”
“Makes sense. At least Connie doesn’t make me go.”
“Hey, you should come sometime, it’s really fun. You just have to ignore what you don’t want to hear.”
“Maybe I’ll go, sometime...”
“Okay, no pressure.”
“Bye Buck, see you later!” I said as I stepped onto our porch.
“Bye Jules... Wait, who sent flowers?” Buck asked.
“Flowers?”
“The ones to your left.”
“Oh.”
I bent down and picked them up.
The note said, “To Connie. I hope you feel better soon. I will be praying for you and your sister.”
I looked at Buck. He shrugged.
“I guess I should take these to Connie. See ya.”
I stepped inside and walked into Connie’s room holding the flowers carefully. She was sitting in bed looking at her laptop, eating Cheetos. Her eyes were puffy.
“Oh, hi Jules. Whoa, who are the flowers for?”
“They’re for you. They were on the porch.”
I sighed and handed them to her as I sat at the foot of her bed.
“Oh! There beautiful! I wonder who they’re from?”
“I don’t know. The tag didn’t say.”
“Oh. Too bad.”
Connie got out of bed. I followed her into the kitchen and watched her put the flowers in a vase.
“I’m sorry I ran off, I don’t know what happened.”
“It’s fine... Where’d you go?”
“To the Meltsner’s.”
“Oh, okay. Listen, we have to go to LA tomorrow for the funeral. We’ll have to drive because I couldn’t get any plane tickets on short notice. We’ll also be staying at dad’s house.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s free and we need to pack stuff up. I talked to the funeral home director and we decided that we didn’t want a viewing. Is that okay with you?”
“Um, yeah. I guess,” I said, shrugging, “Connie, why is this so hard for you? You didn’t exactly have an amazing relationship with dad either.”
“Jules, it’s hard for me because dad wasn’t a Christian. I can’t believe that he went to heaven. I’m grieving for him.”
“That’s sad. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t believe in God,” I muttered.
Connie sighed, “Jules, I pray that you will believe. I hope that one day God will show himself to you.”
I got up and walked out of the room, “Me too,” I whispered.
I sluggishly walked up the stairs to my room. I crashed on my bed and stared at the ceiling. ‘Mom!’ I thought and quickly picked up my phone.
“Hey, mom. It’s Jules,” I said hesitantly.
I hadn’t talked to her in over four months.
“Oh, hi honey, guess what! I’m in the Bahamas for a-“
“Mom! I don’t care. Just listen. Did you hear about dad?”
“Oh yeah. I heard.”
She didn’t sound the least bit perturbed.
“Does that mean you’re going to the funeral?” I asked slowly.
“Oh no. Why would I? Your father was a selfish brat. I have no reason to go.”
“Okay then... Talk to you later.”
“Wait, Jules-“
I turned my phone off and swallowed.
I lay on the couch watching a documentary on Giraffes. After around two hours Connie emerged from her room.
“Jules, can you run to the store for me? We need some stuff for the drive tomorrow.”
“Fine.”
I slid off the couch and got my shoes on. I pulled my black hoodie on and hopped on my bike. Once I got to Finamins Market I looked at the list. SMALL MILK was at the top.
I walked to the milk aisle. I grabbed the smallest milk carton on the row. I turned around and bumped into Jason.
“Whoa, Jules!” He said.
“Oh, hi Jason.”
“I didn’t recognize you in the hoodie. I heard what happened. How are you guys?”
“I’m okay. Connie’s been crying all day though.”
“Oh, that’s understandable. Tell her I’m sorry. Oh and um, did she like the flowers?”
I raised an eyebrow, “So it was you?”
He looked at me for a second with a smirk then said, “See you, Jules. And uh, don’t mention this to Connie, will you?” And turned to the next aisle.
I got the rest of the things and headed home. I opened the door and stumbled into the kitchen with a load of groceries. I set the bags down with a thud. Connie came in.
“Katrina invited us to dinner. We need to go in the next ten minutes.”
“Okay,” I said as I unloaded the bags.
We arrived at the Meltsner’s and knocked on the door. Buck opened it and let us in.
“Hi, Jules.”
“Hey,” I muttered, feeling numb inside.
“Okay...um, we’re having enchiladas for dinner.”
“Cool.”
“Come on!”
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the dining room where everyone else was. We sat down at the table. I looked up as Eugene prayed to see Buck with his eyes closed. I clenched my jaw and exhaled. Eugene finished and we all dug into our amazing food. After we had eaten Buck suggested we play a game. We all headed over to the couches. I sat down on the carpet next to Buck. Katrina put out the board for Ticket to Ride.
About halfway through the game, Buck said, “Hey, Jules, I’m going have to cut you off. Sorry.”
I raised my eyebrows at him as he put his piece in front of mine.
“Ha!” I said triumphantly and blocked him from another angle.
He put on a fake look of horror.
I smirked, “Hey, I can make a comeback. Sorry, Connie looks like you’re gonna lose!” I laughed for the first time today.
“Hey!” Connie said and bit her lip.
“It seems as though Jules and Buck are tied in the middle,” Eugene said and studied the board carefully.
“Of course we are,” Buck smiled.
Connie looked back and forth between us skeptically then turned her attention back to the game.
Eugene won the game as expected, Katrina came in second, Buck third, I got fourth and Connie came in last. We walked to the door. Buck gave me a hug.
“Have fun tomorrow. And call me if you want to talk.”
“Okay, I will.”
Connie and I walked out to the car.
“Okay Jules, we need to leave around 8:00 tomorrow morning so be up on time. And we’re going to trade off driving this time.”
“What! Why?” I looked at her in shock.
“Because I can’t drive 28 hours straight and now that you have your driver's license you can drive too.”
“But I can’t.”
“Why? You drive all the time by yourself and with Buck.”
“Yeah but, not with you.”
“Is that a problem?”
“Yes! I can’t drive with you freaking out every second! I barely survived driving with you when I had my permit. I can’t survive for 28 hours!”
“Sorry, Jules. You’ve gotta do it. And it’ll be a good experience for both of us.”
“Ugh, fine!”
Once we were home I went up to my room to pack. I stuffed some clothes into my suitcase then went to bed.