Connie's Book

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Miss Friendship
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Connie's Book

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Is anyone ever been guilty of attempting to write "Connie's Book?" Well I did. Actually, my goal was to compose something that in a discreet way used all of the titles of the episodes in AIO.

The Introduction
~Introduction~

Hi! My name is Connie and this is my book about my town! I live in Odyssey, and I am not ashamed to say it! Odyssey is the GREATEST! (And to those of you who don’t think so…well, I don’t have much to say to you. And believe me; be grateful I’m holding my tongue.) The worst day ever in Odyssey is better than your best elsewhere, Rusty Gordon!! (Ok, Eugene, edit that out. I just had to vent on something.)

With the help of my employer, John Avery Whitaker, and my long time co-worker Eugene Meltsner, and with many other good friends, I am attempting to put together this book. I’m not the best writer, I will be the first to admit, but hey! I haven’t heard anyone else volunteering to do it. And Odyssey defiantly is worth it! So join me, as I take you on into the adventure of the adventure!
A scene in the first chapter, "Chemicals, Staplers and Whit's End"

I staged this scene where Connie meets Bernard before she ever got a job at Whit's End. (My wild imagination is to blame) This chapter is mostly how Connie searches for a job in Odyssey, and how nothing works out, and finally when she's at her wits end, she...uhhh...gets there. (Now I know this is stretching the real Odyssey facts a bit)
By then I knew I was going to quit the job. I was sure I was hallucinating from all the chemicals I had inhaled. I stalked across the room toward the open door with my last box… I was paying no attention to my surroundings. There had been no need to before. Before I knew what had happened, I had crashed into something…someone, rather. The box proceeded to tumble from my grasp and spill its contents around extravagantly. I had knocked the man over.

“Oh I’m sorry!” I gasped. “Are you ok?”

“Well, a warning would have been preferable, but what can you expect these days?” The man pulled himself up. “Hi, I’m Bernard Walton. Are you the latest?”

“Uhhh, I’m Connie Kendal. The latest? What do you mean?”

“Well, the “Fred’s” take on a new assistant every week regularly.”

“Is that so? Well they can start looking for another,” I snapped. “That was my last box! I’m quitting!”

“Yeah, figures. No one sane can stand the eternal headache that comes along with this place. I’m a promoter of all that’s clean and good smelling, but this place has always taken the smells too far, I’ll say.”

“Well, I’ll find a good job yet! Thanks for your sympathy.”

“Yeah sure. You looking for a job?”

“I will be soon. Any ideas?”

“Well yes, actually. Rumor has it that Mr. Rosswell from the college is looking for a secretary. But between you and me, mark that down as the last resort.”

“Why is that?”

“Ah simple, he has his windows washed only twice a year. Beats me how they still stay so clean!”
Then Eugene... of course I used Connie's famous first line she composed in "Around the block."
From the moment I first saw him outside Whit’s office, I knew there was something different about him. Maybe it was the friendly grin he gave me, maybe it was the way you could barely see his eyes behind his thick filthy glasses, maybe it was when he shook my hand with a graphing calculator, whatever it was I knew that there was many adventures ahead with Eugene Meltsner.

It’s hard to imagine life without Eugene. Looking back, I see I learned many of life’s most valuable lessons through the rocky friendship of two stubborn individuals who were as different as light and darkness.

Somehow, it’s always been rather difficult to find things in common with Eugene. I suppose Tom Riley and Bernard Walton had even a harder time then I did. (Such incidents of relating to Eugene always make me smile!)

It was Whit of course who somehow held everything together. If Whit’s End had been managed solely by Eugene and I, it wouldn’t have lasted a week. In the early days, the place could have burned down whilst we argued whether to pour water or ice cream on the fire.

Of course in between our frequent disagreements and verbal battles, we were the best of friends. But often it was a dangerous mixture. Some of the chaos we cooked up in trying to reach a common goal, “to please Whit” often resulted in Whit pondering what he had done to deserve such senseless employees.

(Note from Eugene—“I object! Amateur mistakes can hardly be qualified as “senseless”—my faculties were all in working order, to borrow the colloquialism. Though admittedly, I cannot speak for others”)

The taming of two such individuals was only accomplished by time. And I shall do my best to recall some of that journey…
And, of course, an argument with Connie and Eugene...
“Miss Kendal, recent circumstances have added to my knowledge of you, and I have discovered a lack of restraint when it comes to the unknown. I am hereby advising you to curb your natural desire of inquisitiveness and refrain from troubling Mr. Whittaker any further.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?? I’m curious??”

“Precisely.”

“Then why didn’t you say so? Besides, I’m very sure you’d be curious if Whit hadn’t enlisted your help with this unknown project!”

“I wouldn’t be hasty, Miss Kendal, in assuming about Eugene Meltsner!” Eugene smiled smugly.

That did it.
“You can’t assume about Miss Constance Kendal either!!!!!!!!!!!” I shrieked in exasperation.

The chocolate milkshake left my hand before I had returned to my senses. The milkshake hit Eugene squarely in the face.

“Ahem,” he coughed, attempting to clean his glasses. “I suppose I have made false assumptions about you, Miss Kendal. I apologize. I had mistakenly assumed that you exercised the art of controlling your temper. Now, if you will excuse me, Mr. Whittaker, I shall make my exit.”
~Lady Friendship Knight of the Order of Chrysostom in the Court of the Debate Vampires~
AKA Countess Concordia of the Chat, Regalia, and the Queen of Sarcasm

I am a personal quirk. --Adrian Dreamwalker
Cassandra

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Hey some of those lines actually sounded like Connie and Eugene. \:D/
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Miss Friendship
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Thanks. :) I tried...
~Lady Friendship Knight of the Order of Chrysostom in the Court of the Debate Vampires~
AKA Countess Concordia of the Chat, Regalia, and the Queen of Sarcasm

I am a personal quirk. --Adrian Dreamwalker
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aragtaghooligan
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I like it a lot :D Good job! Very funny! Good grasp of the characters' personalities.
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Smaug
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This is really awesome! :D excellent job, some of those lines sounded really spot-on.

I've never thought about trying to write a chapter of Connie's book, but now I'm intrigued. It sounded like most of her book was a retelling of various AIO episodes. Is it just me, or would that be an awesome idea for a community project? To collectively write Tales of a Small Town Soda Jerk?

I'm sorta getting into this idea... :anxious:
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Miss Friendship
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Thanks you two. :D
Smaug wrote:I've never thought about trying to write a chapter of Connie's book, but now I'm intrigued. It sounded like most of her book was a retelling of various AIO episodes. Is it just me, or would that be an awesome idea for a community project? To collectively write Tales of a Small Town Soda Jerk?
I think this would really be awesome if the die-hard fans of AIO with creative writing talents could actually produce a book like this. \:D/
~Lady Friendship Knight of the Order of Chrysostom in the Court of the Debate Vampires~
AKA Countess Concordia of the Chat, Regalia, and the Queen of Sarcasm

I am a personal quirk. --Adrian Dreamwalker
Baron von Odyssey
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Loved it! If only the full book existed. :clap:
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