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She watches;
Others are
talking
laughing
hugging
enjoying
She is
alone
again
wishing
she knew
what made her
different
from the rest.
She watches;
Others are
socializing
complimenting
loving
accepting
only their own
because
she is
alone
insecure
doubtful
depressed
trying
failing
She watches;
Others are
smiling
texting
talking
walking
together
She is
alone
listening
wondering
what is it like?
she wouldn't know.
She watches;
others
see her
or don't
because
she is
invisible
because she is
or because they
cause her
to be
She watches;
others
stand
right
in front
of her
but she is
afraid
awkward
insecure
and
alone
She watches;
others
notice
the world
they know
not the world
outside of
their own
and she is
tired
of trying
to look in
while being
alone
She watches;
others
perfection
in a
perfect
world
she isn't
but she tries
because maybe
they might notice
the effort
it takes
just to breathe
She watches;
other
cliques
and models
and finances
and lives
she could
never
afford.
She is
breathing
barely
speaking
quietly
and ignored.
She watches;
others are
fake
heartless
cold
mechanical
empty
yet she
wishes
she were too
because
then it wouldn't
hurt
so
bad
when
she is
alone.

Wow. This is beautiful. And sad. And true.
I have sometimes felt like this. Mostly I don't want to be fake, don't want to be like the others, and am fine with being alone. I need my own space. But sometimes I wish I didn't have feelings. And that I will always be Outside. And wish people would like me for who I am rather than having to turn into something else.

Thank you for putting my life into words.

Oh! My! Word! I can't express how personal this is to me. I've been there so many times! Thank you so much for sharing. Dude you are a brave! Beautiful! And amazingly talented!!! This is so honest and refreshing. Yet I felt the pain and joys of being alone. In that weird way we love pain so we are no longer numb... *sigh* it's perfect.

That was really good Sammy!

Beautiful, Sam!

I cried while reading that. Great job!