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Connie: Can anyone here play the piano?
Wooton: Oh sure, I can do that.
Connie: Can you really?
Wooton: Yeah, I play for Mrs. Randolph's horse all the time.
Connie: What?
Wooton: Well, that's the only way he'll fall asleep.

BTV - Behind the Scenes

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My signature says it all.

Another one would be:

Trent: So Wooton, tell me about your accident.
Wooton: Well it started when I was gonna sled down a ski hill.
Trent: Oh. I could see how that would cause an injury.
Wooton: Well actually it was when my leg got stuck in the chairlift on the way up.

episode: Blood, sweat, and fears

Wooton: It'll only be a few days Bernard. Just the weekend I promise. Come on what do ya say?

Bernard: I say you're expecting too much pepperoni for a pretty small pizza.

- Bassett Hounds

Wooton: Whit do you know how I could make a toaster costume?

I can't narrow it down to one, but I really like:

Wooton: Let's see, there's "Haaaalp" as you know and there's "Don't look up" and, " Be wary of the purple lizards" and "Warning:Arch nemesis in crystallic fusion dormancy"
~from The Other Side of The Glass

Wooton: Some of my best memories are from being a boy scout and doing all those fun "ing" things. Boating, camping, rafting, hiking, falling, hurting, bleeding, and yelling for help. It was the most fun I've ever had!
Grady: (I can't remeber what he says, but it is something like, "Bye, Wooton")
Wooton: I forgot to mention the plumeting
~ from Tuesdays with Wooton

Wooton: I know, this is a job for Captian Absolutely!
Connie: No it isn't
~ from the Green Ring Conspiracy part 11

Those are just some of my favorites.

Bernard: Hand me the binoculars, Wooton.
Wooton: Here you go.
Bernard: There's a truck pulling up. Wait...no....two trucks.
Wooton: Hmmm...one for each eye.

Episode: The Other Side of the Glass

This is a Hard one he is that kind of Character that ALMOST Every Quote is Good! I do Like the one where Connie is Mourning about the "Loss" of Mitch and Wooton says something like:
I Know What You Need.. LAZERTAG! Anyone know the WHOLE thing?

Bernard: (panting) Okay...here it is...chocolate gold. (A brownie.)
Wooton: It’s a little squashed.
Bernard: I was practically running a marathon with it.
Wooton: It’s sweaty.
Bernard: Salt adds flavor.
Wooton: There’s gravel in it.
Bernard: I dropped it once, or maybe twice
Wooton: Oh, that explains the shoe print.

- Do or Diet

I'll fast conformity

Wooton: I once fasted using birds. There was very little action in my life that day.

Fast as I can

Wooton Bassett wrote:Wooton: I once fasted using birds. There was very little action in my life that day.

Fast as I can

I may be wrong, but doesn't he say that he fasted using verbs? (no action?)

ya I think your right

Wooton fasting from junk food for a week, and he's having major trouble. He delivers a package to Mrs. Randolph's house and she invites him to stay for lemon cookies. He says no, but she keeps naming off desserts each time he resists. His idea was to say a prayer each time he thought or heard about junk food. At the end of the scene, this is what happens.

(Mrs. Randolph has just named off another tempting dessert. Wooton tries to resist by praying.)

Wooton: Thank you, God, for the moon!
Mrs. Randolph: Oh, that reminds me. I have Moon Pies. Any thing you want, dearie.
Wooton: [exasperated] Aah!!

~Fast As I Can~

I loved that episode but after listing to it 12 times its getting boring

This one is funny

“Wooton Bassett: Oh, hi, Connie!
Connie Kendall: Hi Wooton! Did you know that your doorbell rings outside?
Wooton Bassett: Oh sure! That way people will know that it's working. Otherwise, you push the button and it rings somewhere way back in the house and you can't even hear whether or not it rang at all. This way, you know!
Connie Kendall: But how did you hear it inside?
Wooton Bassett: Uh, I didn't. I heard you knock.
Connie Kendall: But....Never mind."
”

— “The Green Ring Conspiracy, Part 10”

Godsgirl6153 wrote:

Wooton Bassett wrote:Wooton: I once fasted using birds. There was very little action in my life that day.

Fast as I can

I may be wrong, but doesn't he say that he fasted using verbs? (no action?)

Oh. Okay. It sounded like he said birds. Either way it was really funny.

Wooton: I know! You're giving up wearing every color but green.

- Fast As I Can

whit is leaving wootons house for the first and asks if there is a special leaving knock

wooton: whit don't be silly you have to take the slide.
whit: I do
wooton:yup its a house rule

Liz: I've accepted the fact that I'm not good at anything.
Wooton: Hey would it cheer you up if I showed you how I can fit a pair of tongs up my nose?

- For Trying Out Loud