Joke Central
A man with a dog walks up to another man (without a dog). The first man (Bob) says, "I bet you $1 my dog talks." The second man (Larry) says "Ok, sure.", positive the man is pulling his leg. "Here, I'll show you," Bob says. Bob turns to his dog.
"What goes on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"What is on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"Who's the best baseball player ever?"
"Ruth!"
Bob looks up at Larry. Larry gets mad and refuses to give Bob his dollar. Bob shrugs. After Larry has stormed off, the dog looks to his owner, and says, "I guess I should have said Joe Dimaggio."
"What goes on top of a house?"
"Roof!"
"What is on the outside of a tree?"
"Bark!"
"Who's the best baseball player ever?"
"Ruth!"
Bob looks up at Larry. Larry gets mad and refuses to give Bob his dollar. Bob shrugs. After Larry has stormed off, the dog looks to his owner, and says, "I guess I should have said Joe Dimaggio."
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow.
"Why does Connie shower all of the time?" ~CGM_Games
A blond's boyfriend was out in the middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing ! A group of people were watching the told the blond tell your boyfriend how dumb he looks. The blond says ''I would but I can't swim"
Proud K.R.E Member
- Bethany Shepard
- Moose Tracks
- Posts: 3907
- Joined: November 2012
- Location: I'm A Leo, So Everywhere At Once
A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
I love dumb blonde jokes.
I love dumb blonde jokes.
"I am not a demon. I am a lizard, a shark, a heat-seeking panther.
I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion."
-Nicolas Cage
I want to be Bob Denver on acid playing the accordion."
-Nicolas Cage
What other kinds of blonde jokes are there?
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow.
"Why does Connie shower all of the time?" ~CGM_Games
- GabrielleFandomGirl
- Fudge Marble
- Posts: 948
- Joined: August 2012
- Location: Somewhere
Bazillions, Connie G.
Brunette: I'll be the first brunette on mars!
Ginger: I'll be the first redhead on the moon!
blonde: I'll be the first blonde on the sun!
Brunette: B-but you'll burn!
Blonde: Don't be stupid, I'll go at night!
Brunette: I'll be the first brunette on mars!
Ginger: I'll be the first redhead on the moon!
blonde: I'll be the first blonde on the sun!
Brunette: B-but you'll burn!
Blonde: Don't be stupid, I'll go at night!
"What-ever."- Pound Foolish
E.R.K.
"Why are you cutting a table with a chainsaw...?"
E.R.K.
"Why are you cutting a table with a chainsaw...?"
A riddle: Level: Expert This was given to all Microsoft employees. None figure it out.
"U2" has a concert that starts in 17 minutes and they must all cross a bridge to get there. All four men begin on the same side of the bridge.You must help them across to the other side. It is night. There is one flashlight. A maximum of two people can cross at one time. Any party who crosses, either 1 or 2 people, must have the flashlight with them. The flashlight must be walked back and forth, it cannot be thrown etc.
Each band member walks at a different speed. A pair must walk together at the rate of the slower man's pace:
Bono:- 1 minute to cross Edge:- 2 minutes to cross Adam:- 5 minutes to cross Larry:-10 minutes to cross
For example: if Bono and Larry walk across first, 10 minutes have elapsed when they get to the other side of the bridge. If Larry then returns with the flashlight, a total of 20 minutes have passed and you have failed the mission.
Note: There is no trick behind this. It is the simple movement of resources in the appropriate order. There are two known answers to this problem. This is based on a question Microsoft gives to all prospective employees.
Note: Microsoft expects you to answer this question in under 5 minutes! There are no tricks to this like meeting halfway or anything. Good luck.
"U2" has a concert that starts in 17 minutes and they must all cross a bridge to get there. All four men begin on the same side of the bridge.You must help them across to the other side. It is night. There is one flashlight. A maximum of two people can cross at one time. Any party who crosses, either 1 or 2 people, must have the flashlight with them. The flashlight must be walked back and forth, it cannot be thrown etc.
Each band member walks at a different speed. A pair must walk together at the rate of the slower man's pace:
Bono:- 1 minute to cross Edge:- 2 minutes to cross Adam:- 5 minutes to cross Larry:-10 minutes to cross
For example: if Bono and Larry walk across first, 10 minutes have elapsed when they get to the other side of the bridge. If Larry then returns with the flashlight, a total of 20 minutes have passed and you have failed the mission.
Note: There is no trick behind this. It is the simple movement of resources in the appropriate order. There are two known answers to this problem. This is based on a question Microsoft gives to all prospective employees.
Note: Microsoft expects you to answer this question in under 5 minutes! There are no tricks to this like meeting halfway or anything. Good luck.
~Jay the geek
- GabrielleFandomGirl
- Fudge Marble
- Posts: 948
- Joined: August 2012
- Location: Somewhere
HAHAHAHAHHAHA! This was ridiculous
"What-ever."- Pound Foolish
E.R.K.
"Why are you cutting a table with a chainsaw...?"
E.R.K.
"Why are you cutting a table with a chainsaw...?"
WOW! Jay did you figure it out?
There were three escaped convicts. A brunette, a blond, and a redhead. They heard a police man coming so they each climbed a tree! The police man looked up the redhead's tree and called ''who's there?'' The redhead goes who who. The same thing happened to the brunette. She said cockadoodle doo! The police was not suspicious. But then he came to the blond's tree. The blond thinks ''Huh what can I do? Uh HA !'' she goes "Moo Moo"
You can guess what happened!
There were three escaped convicts. A brunette, a blond, and a redhead. They heard a police man coming so they each climbed a tree! The police man looked up the redhead's tree and called ''who's there?'' The redhead goes who who.
You can guess what happened!
Proud K.R.E Member
No I did not figure it out but my dad's cousin did. Here the answer:
1. Bono and Edge cross = 2 min.
2. Bono comes back = 3 min.
3. Adam and Larry take the flashlight and cross = 13 min.
4. Edge comes back with flashlight = 15 min.
5. Bono and Edge cross = 17 min.
1. Bono and Edge cross = 2 min.
2. Bono comes back = 3 min.
3. Adam and Larry take the flashlight and cross = 13 min.
4. Edge comes back with flashlight = 15 min.
5. Bono and Edge cross = 17 min.
~Jay the geek
What do a pig's tail and getting up at 5:00 in the morning have in common?
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow.
"Why does Connie shower all of the time?" ~CGM_Games
-
- Cookies & Creme
- Posts: 211
- Joined: November 2014
Ok, here's a joke.
Why didn't Cain obey God?
Why didn't Cain obey God?
KeyBladeWarrior wrote:Ok, here's a joke.
Why didn't Cain obey God?
~Queen Belle of Altanovia, Knight of Montreal & Order of Aristotle, Benevolent Dictator, Catspaw of the SS, & Dan's couch troll~
~"I’ve always found you to be a good person to disagree with." - Eleventh Doctor~
Why? (So not to be a one-word post)
I was about to ask why.... XDBelle wrote:KeyBladeWarrior wrote:Ok, here's a joke.
Why didn't Cain obey God?xD
- HomeschoolCowgirl
- Peach Cobbler
- Posts: 1340
- Joined: December 2013
- Location: Odyssey USA!
She meant, what other kinds are there besides "dumb blonde" jokes? Like, I've never heard a "brilliant blonde" joke... unfortunately, since blondes are not inherently dumb, ask Belle.GabrielleFandomGirl wrote:Bazillions, Connie G.
"Musical training is a more potent instrument than any other, for rhythm and harmony find their way into the inner places of the soul... making the soul of one who is rightly educated, graceful" -- Socrates
Hahaha! XDHomeschoolCowgirl wrote:She meant, what other kinds are there besides "dumb blonde" jokes? Like, I've never heard a "brilliant blonde" joke... unfortunately, since blondes are not inherently dumb, ask Belle.GabrielleFandomGirl wrote:Bazillions, Connie G.
Yes this is what I meantSameriazx wrote:Hahaha! XDHomeschoolCowgirl wrote:She meant, what other kinds are there besides "dumb blonde" jokes? Like, I've never heard a "brilliant blonde" joke... unfortunately, since blondes are not inherently dumb, ask Belle.GabrielleFandomGirl wrote:Bazillions, Connie G.
Strength for today, and bright hope for tomorrow.
"Why does Connie shower all of the time?" ~CGM_Games
Connie G. wrote:Yes this is what I meantSameriazx wrote:Hahaha! XDHomeschoolCowgirl wrote: She meant, what other kinds are there besides "dumb blonde" jokes? Like, I've never heard a "brilliant blonde" joke... unfortunately, since blondes are not inherently dumb, ask Belle.
This is something I made up, but it's real: I dreamt that I had a boyfriend last night, and then I woke up and remembered that I didn't. *sighs* XD
"Sometimes the best book has the dustiest jacket, and sometimes the best tea cup is chipped."
The invention of the shovel was truly ground-breaking.
(Ba-dum tsssssssh)
(Ba-dum tsssssssh)
~Queen Belle of Altanovia, Knight of Montreal & Order of Aristotle, Benevolent Dictator, Catspaw of the SS, & Dan's couch troll~
~"I’ve always found you to be a good person to disagree with." - Eleventh Doctor~
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
So these are so random, but they're hilarious for some reason o_0
So these are so random, but they're hilarious for some reason o_0
someone wrote:A poster read: "God is dead" - Nietzsche.
The graffiti underneath read: "Nietzsche is dead" - God.
SURPRISE! Another person... wrote:A little girl, dresses in her "Sunday best" was late and running to her Sunday school class. As she ran, she prayed, "Dear God, please don't let me be late. Dear God, please don't let me be late." Then she fell.
She got up, dusted her self off and saw that her dress was now dirty and had a little tear. She started running again, still praying, "Dear God, please don't let me be late." But this time she added, "But please don't push me, either!"
I died at that oneyet another person... wrote:One day, a teacher was talking to her first grade class about whales when a little girl had a question.
Little Girl: "Do whales swallow people?"
Teacher: "No, even though they are much bigger than a person, they have throat pleats that filter their food of krill and plankton.
Little Girl: "But Mrs. Thurston says Jonah was swallowed by a whale."
Teacher getting angry: "Blue whales cannot swallow people."
Little Girl: "Well, when I get to heaven I'll just ask Jonah if he was really swallowed by a whale."
Teacher, still red with anger: "What if Jonah went to hell?"
Girl: "Well, then you can ask him."
Fast & Jelly are at it again. This time they face the evil fast clickers. Can fast be faster? Is Jelly too slow to turn them into jelly? Find out this week on Fast & Jelly! --> Penguin
"update your signature, Paperclip's term ended ages ago" -Swah
Happy now?