Classified Ads
Needed: Thrust. Chickens need to fly, but
they don't have thrust. Call Rocky at 555-9284.
For Sale: Miniature Surfboards. Useful for
riding sand dunes with ants. Giant ants not included. Call Dylan at
555-2728.
Available: Slightly damaged ion blaster.
Power gauge goes to 11. Call Emperor Zurg at 555-ZURG.
Wanted: New microphone. Needed for
on-location reporting. Call top reporter Frankly Right at 555-NEWS.
Available: Triatoma Antidotes. Triatoma is
very dangerous and could possibly be fatal. You won't be sorry. Come to the
Electric Palace for your limited time antidote. (May not necessarily be
effective. Cost could go up at owner's discretion.) Call the Electric Palace
at 555-BART.
STILL AVAILABLE: Extra copies of "Manners for
the Socially Challenged" Call David at 555-3842.
Found: Rope. Approximately 10 feet. Looks
like shoelace knot was used. Call 555-2732.
For Sale: Mrs. Tweedy's Chicken Pies. It's the woman's touch. Call the
Tweedys at 555-3401.
Needed: Window Washing Job at Odyssey
Commerce Building. Must be able to wash windows. Cannot be afraid of
heights.
Call Bernard at 555-8978. Missing: Ukulele,
Bowling Ball, and Laptop Computer. Last seen at Whit's End with Connie,
Dylan, and Jesse. Call Eugene at 555-3141.
For Sale: Interactive Media class. Experience
needed. PageMill or Dreamwever. Call Kathy at 555-7894.
Needed: Attitude Adjustment. Call Rodney at
555-2278.
Found: Washing machine. Contents: Blue shirt,
assorted Daniel Boone paraphernalia. In the vicinity of 3rd street. Call
555-6785.
For Sale: Digital Camera. Only been stolen
once. Call Whit's End at 555-WHIT.
Found: Mouse. Looks new. Tail slightly
frayed. Owner will have to answer serious questions. Call Harlow at
555-6875. New Odyssey Times reporter. Jerry Phillips resigned after
interview with Harlow Doyle. Call the Times at 555-TIME.
For Sale: Green ant ranch. Ants sold
separately. Some ants will not like ranch and demand larger home. Call Jesse
at 555-2728.
For Sale: Cell phone. Damaged beyond repair.
Has been through fire, dipped in highly-toxic window washing fluid, and
smashed on the street. Call Bernard at 555-8978.
Lost: $3 in change. Somewhere in the vicinity
of Al's Toy Barn. Could be in elevator shaft. Beware of Zurg. Call Hamm at
Andy's house at 555-3254.
Needed: Answer to riddle. WHAT DOES "I SLAP
FLOOR" MEAN???????? I'm desperate! HELP ME!!! AHHHHHHH!!!! Call Bethany at
555-3874.
Help Wanted: New home needed for simple
prospector. No longer interested in continual makeovers. Call Stinky Pete at
555-2847.
Needed: Cure for procrastination. I can never
finish anything I sta
This
article originally appeared in "The Odyssey Times," a
special fictional newspaper produced by Focus on the Family to promote
Adventures in Odyssey.
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