The Odyssey Scoop - Features: It's Pretty Bad When...

Focus on the Family released the Complete Guide to Adventures in Odyssey which included a special trivial section called "You Know You're Addicted to Odyssey When..." We've gone ahead and included all the ones in the Guide along with a multitude of others. Below is a list of over 150 symptoms of an Odyssey addict.

It's Pretty Bad When...

You listen to the "Jungle Jam & Friends: The Radio Show" episode called "The Great Rubber Band War" because Connie, Eugene, and Whit are are on it!

There's no Joes, Franks, or Bubbas in your fire department.

You think that your clothes smell girlish.

You'd like to play music at Carnegie Hall someday.

You read textbooks for enjoyment.

You have all the AIO Classics albums.

You want your own toothbrush.

You like Italian dressing.

You want to have a Coke with the President of the United States.

You listen to adding machine sound effects for inspiration.

You step into a toilet.

You name your dog Laughy.

You remove your fingernails with a pair of rusty pliers.

You want to tighten the belt around the government's waist.

You wear toilet paper in your hair all day.

You're late to your own funeral.

You have a vague memory of a room and a Christmas tree, and a silver -dollar in a piggy bank.

You order a lemonade a la Whittaker.

You find your name carved on a tombstone.

You want to join the Daniel Boone Fan Club.

You have dreams of working at Whit's End.

You live on the Southspoon Ranch.

You are dying to see what Eugene's eyes look like.

You plan a vacation to Sloughburg.

You're a "sitter."

You go into the mall and look for the "mall lady."

You read the dictionary because there's nothing better to read.

You want to be Eugene's cousin.

You play basketball with your shorts.

You soothe your dog to sleep by letting him hear a ticking alarm clock.

You listen to a new episode 47 times before the next week's comes on. (It actually happened to someone!)

You have 27 posters of Nick Grant in your bedroom.

You listen to the Backward Boys.

You think an hippo cage at the zoo smells sort of like when Mrs. Barclay fixes sour krout.

You spend ten years at the mall.

You jump off a cliff to save your TV.

You accidentally fall out of an upstairs window.

You have the Adventures in Odyssey Christmas sing-alongs.

You want to try virtual reality shopping.

You want to see Alex Jefferson's Whit's End website.

You want the Instant Christomatic.

Environmentalists always show up when you're taking a bath.

You want a haircut the same as Eugene Meltzner's.

Whenever you get your picture taken, you say, "Roman Census."

Your future son's name is Eugene and your future daughter's name is Connie.

You take an expedition just for the sake of experience.

Your alarm clock says thanks when you turn it off.

You're afraid of the creepy crawly bug monster.

You have multidimensional neon socks.

You know the story of Snow DeWhite.

You attack the pizza delivery boy.

Your mailbox is shaped like a squeegee bucket.

You think that shepherds have a distinct and wonderful essence.

You put a "Keep off the roof" sign next to your house to prevent being sued.

You wear cotton candy on your head.

You know how to say cricket in Spanish.

You also know how to say bathroom in Spanish.

You fall out of your tree house to see if Nagel will show up and save the day.

You act like City Hall is the Tajmahal.

You want to be employed with the National Security Agency (NSA).

You perform a horticultural experiment.

You're a door-to-door salesman selling fans.

You fail your driver's test.

You open cans with your teeth.

You make someone a "Round TUIT."

You drink lemonade to help you get projects done.

You know what "Dah Dah, Dee Dee Dah Dah Dah" means.

You want an "Electric Pocket Computer Dictionary Thesaurus Encyclopedia Word Search Corrector.

You attempt to grow a three drooping hair moustache.

You cut yourself shaving.

You think someone's breath always smells like peanut butter.

You cover your car in Christian bumper stickers.

You whistle for your keys.

You brush your teeth with a hairbrush.

You hope to suddenly find a videogame in your mailbox.

You have the sudden urge to drool and ring bells.

You buy wood and leaves.

You want to be mayor for a day.

You wonder what cow chips are.

You have nightmares about Eugene.

You don't bring your stereo on vacations.

You name your cat Sasha.

You have a teddy bear named Mr. Bobo.

You know the definition of "maladroit".

You have proof that Odyssey is in Ohio.

You name your cat Boswell.

You measure time and miles by Adventures in Odyssey episodes.

You name your dog Normal.

You backorder your Odyssey albums months in advance.

You think that the sun revolves around the earth because Eugene Meltsner confused you in "Poor Loser."

You know the difference between Greenblatt's Department Store and Greenway's Department Store.

You go to your local ice cream parlor and order a "wod fam choc sod."

You know why the dog walked on water.

Your conscience comes in the voice of Whit.

You're intellectually stimulated by Harlow Doyle.

You plan a vacation in Pokenberry Falls.

You know who the goat man is.

You know why Whit doesn't own a television.

You read the Bible and hear Bernard's voice telling the story.

You know the words to "Seasonal Felicitations.

You name your first child "Bruno Chainbreaker."

You know what color Eugene's eyes are.

You wonder why every Odyssey kid has grown up, but Connie is still 16 after all these years.

You send valentines to Rodney Rathbone.

You know the postal code for Vancouver, B.C., Canada.

You pray for the Odyssey characters.

You wonder why Mandy Straussberg is in Middle school, but attends Odyssey High.

You proudly tell all your neighbors, friends, and close associates that you were trapped in an elevator.

You put ketchup on your cake.

You ask yourself, "Why isn't Mr. Whittaker ever wrong?"

You peruse the cereal aisle for a box of Toasty Oaties and Choco Chums.

You go to Hawaii to get a better picture of what it looks like for the next time you listen to "Aloha Oy."

Whenever you use a phone booth you think you're in the Imagination Station.

You scower the U.S. for Connelsville.

When you do find Connellsville, you realize that there are actually two: one in Pennsylvania and one in Ohio!

You eat an entire box of trail mix.

You use the word "colloquialism."

You know your way around Whit's End.

You talk like Eugene.

You collect Odyssey kids' meals.

You hide your keys in the books on your bookshelf.

You ask your friend, "Are you chewing gum?"

You find the bones of Big Foot.

You heat up a slice of pizza on a light bulb.

You check your local listings to see when "Betsy the Bumblebee" is airing on TV.

You try to invent a reverse microwave oven.

You whistle the segue music between Odyssey scenes.

You give someone a cake with a file in it.

You whistle as you walk down your street carrying an armload of lumber.

You pray for rain so you won't have to go out for gym class.

You listen to "New Year's Eve Live" to ring in the new year.

You become a window washer.

You go camping in your living room.

You imagine the Imagination Station as a hot water tank lying on its side.

You check junk mail catalogs for the "Jumbo Fork."

You go to a television store to watch soap operas on a wall of TVs.

You build model trains.

You want a piece of funnel cake.

You have an MP3 of Dwayne Oswald's "Chores" rap song.

You use brightly colored folders.

You type out Odyssey episodes word for word.

You think your grandpa reminds you of Tom Riley.

You watch re-runs of Duck Tales.

You cut up a table with a chainsaw.

You learn how to play the ukelele.

You can name all the Odyssey albums in order.

You never skip episodes.

You have played at least one Odyssey board game in your life time.

You call Focus on the Family and ask for Mr. Whittaker (this happened to the webmaster!)

You say no to any door-to-door fan salesmen.

You spill ice cream and accidentally call for Connie to clean it up.

You dream that a large mouse is trying to get into your bedroom.

You play Whit's game, "Rights, Wrongs & Reasons."

You want to take a trip to Cleveland to see what all the fuss is about.

You cry when you listen to Katrina leaving Eugene.

You know the words to "I'm Glad I'm Me."

You make flamingo cookies.

You start a garage band called 10W40.

You visit this website at least three times a day.

You save up for a pair of roller blades.

You look for a giant phone book in your local library.

You visit the nearest monastery for peace and solitude.

You want Connie's cheesecake recipe.

You plan a trip to one of Odyssey's live recordings.

You start a company called Novacom.

You have a slide sticking out of your house.

You punch the highway.

You know which dog on Odyssey is an atheist.

You have an AIO website!

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