Never Again
by Blake Dean
Bart: Come On Doris! Take over the shop for a couple
hours.
Doris: No, I have to use my free Hair Salon Coupon and it
expires today.
Rodney: I'll do it Pop.
Bart: NO!?! (mumbling) He'll make things worse
AGAIN.....And Don't Call me Pop.
Rodney: AWWWWWWWW!! Come On POP!
Bart: No remember the last time I let you watch the
shop.....
Rodney: (quietly) oh yeah....Sorry Pop I was younger
then.
Bart: That was 2 WEEKS AGO!!!?!?!
Rodney: Alright But I don't like it.
Bart: I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE IT! Doris PLEEEEAAASE!
Doris: NOOOO! I Won't..... Unless I get paid for it.
Bart: NO! Thanks a Lot Doris!
Doris: No Charge, well now that I think about it.....
Bart: (*roll eyes*) UGH!
(scene change: to Whit's End)
Bart: Hi ya?, Is Eugene in here, Whits End?
Whit: No sorry and its Whit, Whit's End is my shop.
Bart: Whatever, You Say! Where's Eugene?
Whit: I don't know Bart you can ask Katrina she's in the
Bible Room.
Bart: Does Katy work with Eugene?
Whit: It's Katrina and yes she does and she?'s in the
Bible Room. But I wouldn't bother her because she's--
(Door Closed)
Whit: Praying
(scene change: Bible Room)
Katrina: (praying) and please give me and Eugene the
strength to do the tasks put before us. I also pray for my mother and her
Bart: (interrupting,loudly) Hi ya?!
Katrina: (softly) Oh Bart, um would you like to pray with
me?
Bart: No not really, I just have one quick question....
Katrina: If you could just hold on for like 10 minutes I
will be done praying by then.
Bart: Oh um, Well, let me just ask you
Katrina: I would rather
Bart: (interrupting) Where's Eugene?
Katrina: (loud sigh) OK Bart he's at the library, now I
would highly appreciate if you would leave so I can finish
Bart: Oh Yeah, Sorry
(scene change: Odyssey Public, Library)
Bart: Eugene, Eugene? Oh, There he is!
(knock)
Bart: Hi Ya?! You do that Foot-Down program right?
Eugene: You mean Hand-Up?
Bart: Yeah, Well I need someone to watch the shop from
3-5. So...You wanna help a Friend out?
Eugene: Not Really, I mean watching shops isn't what
Hand-Up mainly focuses on.,,Bart: AWWWWW Come on I'll give free batteries!
Eugene: Okay Bart I'll, I'll do it!
Bart: Thank ya?
Eugene: No Problem, I guess!
(scene change: The Electric Palace)
Bart: Now that ends the tour of The Electric Palace.
Eugene: Very....Uh Intriguing.
Bart: Thanks! So I have to run and you can watch the
shop.
Eugene: Alright but I have somewhere that I have to be
somewhere at 5:45. If your not back by 5:15 I'll have to close up shop.
Bart: Well, Yeah don't do that.
Eugene: Bye!
Eugene: (whistling)
Customer #1: Umm, Excuse Me?
Eugene: Yes?
Customer #1: I'm looking for the Diamond Flashlight,
Where is it?
Eugene: Umm....Well it would either be under Diamond or
Flashlight section.
Customer #1: Well, I don't mean to be rude but, I've
already tried there.
Eugene: Well then, I'm sorry I don't know what to tell
you.
Customer #1: Can I make a suggestion?
Eugene: Well Normally I would say to put it in the
suggestion box but science you have been so patient with obliviousness you
may express you concern.
Customer #1: Okay, Well you might want to get
organized!!!!!?!?
(Sound: Ringing of Closing Door)
Eugene: Yeah that would be a wise suggestion.
(Sound:Picking up a Phone)
Eugene: Hello? Is this Rodney Rathbone?
Rodney: Yeah so?
Eugene: Well I was wondering if you would like to come
down and help with something in your Father's Shop?
Rodney: Wait a Second, Eugene he got you to watch the
Store?
Eugene: Yes, Is there a conflict with that and you
helping me?
Rodney: No and I'll be there in 5 minutes!
Eugene: Greetings and Salutations.
Rodney: So what do you want me to do boss?
Eugene: The 'Boss' isn't necessary, But if you would
sweep the floor.
Rodney: What?! I can't like sell stuff?
Eugene: Sorry, but I'll be organizing. And the store is
closed.
Rodney: Ugh! Okay Whatever you Say.
(2 Hours and A Clean Store Later)
Rodney: I'm Exahusted!
Eugene: Me Too but, At Least the store's clean.
Bart: WHAT IN THE NAME OF ELECTRIC REMOTES IS GOING ON
HERE?!?!?
Eugene: Oh, Hi Bart. We cleaned the store for you! What
do you think of your improved store?
Bart: What do I think I think you completely ruined my
store!
Eugene: Ruined? I gave it a totally new look!
Bart: A look that makes me look like a preppy guy and
clean and organized!
Eugene: Oops!
(Cryin' Brian Dern?s Studio)
Cryin' Brian: And for the last time here's the
Cockroaches with their new single 'Don't Squash Me' (button click) I need
something new something fresh something inspiring. Don't you think that's
what I need Ryan?
Ryan: Sir, I am an intern I have no clue your supposed to
tell me that's what your show needs not ask me.
Cryin' Brian: Ugh! You Interns are IMPOSSIBLE! (music:
Cryin? Brian!) And that was the last time we will EVER play that song again,
now here's another song, um. Not sure of the name but here it is! (button
click) I KNOW! I'll give my good old friend Bart Rathbone a call.
(Electric Palace:Phone Ringing)
Bart: HELLO?!?!?
Cryin' Brian: HI!
Bart: Bye, Brian!
(phone hanged up!)
Cryin' Brian: Well, I guess I'll just show up! (button
click) Alrighty, I'm sure all your listeners what something different than
just songs so right now I am going down to the messiest place or should I
say palace in town, if you want to see where we are going log on to
cryinbriandernradio.com/livefeed for a live feed. Now heres a word from our
sponsor.
(Commercial Break)
Cryin' Brian: Alright, I am about to walk in the
?Electric Palace? the dirtiest shop in Odyssey!?! (bell ringing) Well, if it
isn't Bart Rathbone, the manager of this (pause) special establishment. Bart
would you like to say a word?
Bart: Hmm, let me think about it (pause) NO!
Cryin' Brian: Touchy, touchy. I think I'll just look
around for some good dirt.
Bart: Fine, just leave me alone!
Cryin' Brian: As I was saying I'm in The Electric Palace
right now. For those of you watching our live feed at
cryinbriandernradio.com/livefeed, you can see all of this clutter just
scattered on the floor. If you have an opinion about this mess, comment
underneath the live feed and I might read them in just a few minutes. As I
was saying, there's clutter EVERYWHERE. Oh, what's this? Batteries out of
their packages on the floor smashed. Again today I am asking for you to get
involved, and you will have a chance to do that during this break.
(Commercial Break)
Cryin' Brian: And we're back with some questions,
comments and complaints. Okay lets see....Lazer467 says It's just
disgraceful how he runs his shop I don't like or approve of it and I am glad
that you are trying to reveal it to the whole world. It should be an example
of why store-owners should keep their stores clean and customer ready!? Well
I like the way that man thinks, here's another...Sweetgurl900 says
"That even though Bart Rathbone may keep his store a little un-orderly does
not give you (Brian) license to mock and bully him. Especially over the
internet where the whole world can see it." I'm sorry sweetgurl900 but I
completely and totally disagree, I think that since he keeps his store like
this the whole world should know. I believe that I am only doing my job as a
citizen of the fine country to reveal the truth.
(SLAM of door)
Bart: You hold on just one second. I have been listening
to your broadcast and for your information, it was Eugene and Rodney's
fault. I asked them to watch the store while I went out!
Cryin' Brian: Oh. Um, well sorry folks my mistake but,
(ringing of cell phone) hold on, folks. (quietly) Hey can we talk a little
later I'm kinda in the middle of a live show. (pause) Yes (hesitantly) I
understand, bye. (louder talking into the mic) Well folks that wraps up our
live feed of the story that just uncovered itself. (computer beep) well
urock67 the reason that I have to stop is because my boss called and said I
was making a fool of myself and I stink at making a recovery. Bye folks.
Bart: Well, I gotta get back to my work.
Cryin' Brian: Yeah...me too.
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