Metal15's stuff - Writing
Metal15's stuff - Writing
This is the thread where I'll post my stuff, poems, guitar covers, short stories, pictures, drawings, whatever...
I hope you guys like it!
Here's a poem I finished recently. It's kind of odd...But I hope you like it anyway.
The Dumpy Old Cabin
By Metal15
A Dumpy old Cabin sat alone among the trees
All dry and compact at 20 degrees
A roof made of fir and a door made of oak
Could withstand nigh anything, except for the poke
Of an aircraft missile falling from the sky.
Inside sat a man, of beastly proportion
His face a wrinkled mixture of fleshy contortion
His beard a tangled mess of ratty hair and worms.
Across the table from the man sat his wife
A beastlier sight you’ve never seen in your life
A witch of a woman, a fiend of a fiend
She may have lived longer, if he hadn’t intervened
But stand the man did
His anger unmatched
“Wife!” he bellowed,
“Make my food if you want your brain still attached!”
Now the woman could stand
minor insults and phrases
But when the foul man said that,
she replied:
“What the blazes???”
“I scrub all the floors! I mend all your socks!”
“Why don’t YOU do some work, you big fat hairy OX!”
The old man was stunned
This he could not ignore
The wife had not thrown such a tantrum before
The man’s anger grew about a hundred times greater
And he said: “Shut up, woman, and I’ll deal with you later.”
But the woman could not let him have the last word
She was stubborn that way, and she called out: “You turd!”
The old man scowled fiercely and scratched his big ear
He’d had it with this lady
Had it way up to here
He stretched out his arm and he grabbed his big axe
At the same time his wife stooped and scooped up some tacks
With a roar they both fought
Fought to end all this rot
And to see which old person was greater.
Well, they battled for hours
Without any showers
And the cabin they fought in was shaking.
It seemed, my good friends, that we all were decieved
For the cabin’s “strong” structure, of oak and of fir
Was not quite as tough as was at first believed.
See, the crashing and bashing of the people attacking
Was too much for the cabin, it just started cracking
The timbers all quivered and trembled and shook
Then the old man gave a sneeze
Well, that’s all it took.
The Cabin just splintered
It fell with a crash
It seems the old hags’ deeds turned out to be rash
Both people were crushed, pinned down by the rubble
So be friends with your spouse (You don’t want this trouble...)
Well, this ends the poem of the Dumpy Old Cabin
Not quite what you were expecting?
Um......
Eh.......
I can’t think of anything that rhymes with cabin. lol
I hope you guys like it!
Here's a poem I finished recently. It's kind of odd...But I hope you like it anyway.
The Dumpy Old Cabin
By Metal15
A Dumpy old Cabin sat alone among the trees
All dry and compact at 20 degrees
A roof made of fir and a door made of oak
Could withstand nigh anything, except for the poke
Of an aircraft missile falling from the sky.
Inside sat a man, of beastly proportion
His face a wrinkled mixture of fleshy contortion
His beard a tangled mess of ratty hair and worms.
Across the table from the man sat his wife
A beastlier sight you’ve never seen in your life
A witch of a woman, a fiend of a fiend
She may have lived longer, if he hadn’t intervened
But stand the man did
His anger unmatched
“Wife!” he bellowed,
“Make my food if you want your brain still attached!”
Now the woman could stand
minor insults and phrases
But when the foul man said that,
she replied:
“What the blazes???”
“I scrub all the floors! I mend all your socks!”
“Why don’t YOU do some work, you big fat hairy OX!”
The old man was stunned
This he could not ignore
The wife had not thrown such a tantrum before
The man’s anger grew about a hundred times greater
And he said: “Shut up, woman, and I’ll deal with you later.”
But the woman could not let him have the last word
She was stubborn that way, and she called out: “You turd!”
The old man scowled fiercely and scratched his big ear
He’d had it with this lady
Had it way up to here
He stretched out his arm and he grabbed his big axe
At the same time his wife stooped and scooped up some tacks
With a roar they both fought
Fought to end all this rot
And to see which old person was greater.
Well, they battled for hours
Without any showers
And the cabin they fought in was shaking.
It seemed, my good friends, that we all were decieved
For the cabin’s “strong” structure, of oak and of fir
Was not quite as tough as was at first believed.
See, the crashing and bashing of the people attacking
Was too much for the cabin, it just started cracking
The timbers all quivered and trembled and shook
Then the old man gave a sneeze
Well, that’s all it took.
The Cabin just splintered
It fell with a crash
It seems the old hags’ deeds turned out to be rash
Both people were crushed, pinned down by the rubble
So be friends with your spouse (You don’t want this trouble...)
Well, this ends the poem of the Dumpy Old Cabin
Not quite what you were expecting?
Um......
Eh.......
I can’t think of anything that rhymes with cabin. lol
Last edited by Metal15 on Mon Feb 18, 2013 7:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I'm the leader of the KRE, the group dedicated to countering ERK the Emily-centered cult. Join either team, you'll have a blast.
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
- godisawesomeness99
- Raspberry Ripple
- Posts: 566
- Joined: November 2012
- Location: Seattle
Dude..... That was..... Completely Awesome!
here from time to time....
Psalm 73:24
Psalm 73:24
well thanks.
I'm the leader of the KRE, the group dedicated to countering ERK the Emily-centered cult. Join either team, you'll have a blast.
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
I like the poem, Metal It intrigued me! And if you know me, I'm not one for poems (just ask my siblings.)
Oh, and I can't see your cover... It says that it won't let me see it if I'm not "in your circle." You could upload to Dropbox.
Oh, and I can't see your cover... It says that it won't let me see it if I'm not "in your circle." You could upload to Dropbox.
Okay, so, I've started writing a story that I've decided that I'm going post here on the SS for your consideration and possibly your mockery. I don't want to reveal too much of it, but it's gonna be about pirates. And it's going to be slightly absurd, lol. It won't contain much violence or anything offensive, which is kind of a treat for me, because most of the stories I write are pretty violent.
The funny thing about this story is that it was started at the breakfast table with me and two of my brothers, fooling around and pretending we were pirates and such. And so I decided to write a story based off that event, and Voila.
And I suppose I'll expose the title of the story to you guys.
I need some help from you guys, though. The main character has a first name, "Charles"(He's british ), but I don't have a last name for him yet. I've considered many possibilities but I've narrowed it to these three choices:
Charles Benfield
Charles Bradford
Charles Benson
I've decided I want one of these three, but I can't decide which one. So I'd like you guys to decide for me. Everyone please comment and post which name you would like, and the name that is posted the most will be chosen.
Thanx!
The funny thing about this story is that it was started at the breakfast table with me and two of my brothers, fooling around and pretending we were pirates and such. And so I decided to write a story based off that event, and Voila.
And I suppose I'll expose the title of the story to you guys.
Charles Benfield
Charles Bradford
Charles Benson
I've decided I want one of these three, but I can't decide which one. So I'd like you guys to decide for me. Everyone please comment and post which name you would like, and the name that is posted the most will be chosen.
Thanx!
I'm the leader of the KRE, the group dedicated to countering ERK the Emily-centered cult. Join either team, you'll have a blast.
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
- Samantha14
- Mint Chocolate Chip
- Posts: 2082
- Joined: November 2012
- Location: Neverland, usually hanging out with Peter Pan.
I like Benfield, (And a bonus option, 'Benningfield'... Hehe.) Anyways, the name reminds me of a book character from a mystery series I love! Go for it, I'll be reading.
I vote Benson (sorry to differ, Shey.) It really struck me as a 'good' name.
Btw: Can't wait to read your story Metal
Btw: Can't wait to read your story Metal
- Renae
- Fudge Marble
- Posts: 819
- Joined: August 2012
- Location: ....I'll be in a different place every time you read this....
I like Benfield the most. I said them all in a British accent and it just had a ring to it
My second choice would be Benson though (:
My second choice would be Benson though (:
Renae: Faithful companion of Drama King, aka Jimmy Barclay.
Here's a poem I wrote a few years ago. It sucks just a tad, lol.
The Vampire
A poem
by Louis Dimick
If there was a bird flying sky high,
And looked down at a graveyard as it flew by,
It would see a little stir among the graves.
A young vampire, aged three hundred eighty five,
Rose up from his grave, like a bee from a hive,
And with a yawn, sat and grew still.
Moments later, his mother rose with a groan,
And said to her son with a sort of moan:
“My son, my son, why do you not go and drink blood like your ancestors?”
The young Vampire said with a sort of sniff,
“I shall not O my mother. If you please.
Because to me its foul and makes me sneeze.
I will not drink blood I think,
Its something I think I will never drink.
Because I have something else upon my mind.
Something I would like to eat.
I saw them by some gables;
A great big garden of vegetables!”
His mother frothed. She spit and spat.
She jumped around and things like that.
And then finally she sat and said calmly:
“How, O my son, can you talk this biff and balmy?
You have drunken blood all your death,
Even before your dying breath!
How, in all this time,
Have you just come to sit in grime?
We drink blood. That’s what we do.
Now come. Let us drink blood. Me and you.”
The young Vampire said stubbornly:
“No my mother, I shall not.
How can you talk all that rot?
Drinking blood, that’s what we do?
Pooh!”
And with the splendor of a Knave,
He disappeared into his grave.
The Vampire
A poem
by Louis Dimick
If there was a bird flying sky high,
And looked down at a graveyard as it flew by,
It would see a little stir among the graves.
A young vampire, aged three hundred eighty five,
Rose up from his grave, like a bee from a hive,
And with a yawn, sat and grew still.
Moments later, his mother rose with a groan,
And said to her son with a sort of moan:
“My son, my son, why do you not go and drink blood like your ancestors?”
The young Vampire said with a sort of sniff,
“I shall not O my mother. If you please.
Because to me its foul and makes me sneeze.
I will not drink blood I think,
Its something I think I will never drink.
Because I have something else upon my mind.
Something I would like to eat.
I saw them by some gables;
A great big garden of vegetables!”
His mother frothed. She spit and spat.
She jumped around and things like that.
And then finally she sat and said calmly:
“How, O my son, can you talk this biff and balmy?
You have drunken blood all your death,
Even before your dying breath!
How, in all this time,
Have you just come to sit in grime?
We drink blood. That’s what we do.
Now come. Let us drink blood. Me and you.”
The young Vampire said stubbornly:
“No my mother, I shall not.
How can you talk all that rot?
Drinking blood, that’s what we do?
Pooh!”
And with the splendor of a Knave,
He disappeared into his grave.
I'm the leader of the KRE, the group dedicated to countering ERK the Emily-centered cult. Join either team, you'll have a blast.
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
- Shtakji
- Cookies & Creme
- Posts: 238
- Joined: December 2012
- Location: On a 3-dimensional blue, green and white sphere suspended in outer space
Interesting poem you have there. I enjoy the style and quirkiness you give your characters. I was vaguely reminded of Dr. Seuss while reading. Not being condescending, I've always had a certain fondness for Dr. Seuss' work.
"A battle can be considered lost only when you cease to fight."~Shtakji
Haha, thanx, I kinda thought of Seuss myself when looking back at my old poems.
I'm the leader of the KRE, the group dedicated to countering ERK the Emily-centered cult. Join either team, you'll have a blast.
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
My Youtube channel --> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa8Nt7 ... ILthNNlUww
Feminism is cray.
FREEDOM!!!
Music FB page: https://www.facebook.com/louismusicdefinitelyofficial/
I like bradfordMetal15 wrote:Okay, so, I've started writing a story that I've decided that I'm going post here on the SS for your consideration and possibly your mockery. I don't want to reveal too much of it, but it's gonna be about pirates. And it's going to be slightly absurd, lol. It won't contain much violence or anything offensive, which is kind of a treat for me, because most of the stories I write are pretty violent.
The funny thing about this story is that it was started at the breakfast table with me and two of my brothers, fooling around and pretending we were pirates and such. And so I decided to write a story based off that event, and Voila.
And I suppose I'll expose the title of the story to you guys.I need some help from you guys, though. The main character has a first name, "Charles"(He's british ), but I don't have a last name for him yet. I've considered many possibilities but I've narrowed it to these three choices:
Charles Benfield
Charles Bradford
Charles Benson
I've decided I want one of these three, but I can't decide which one. So I'd like you guys to decide for me. Everyone please comment and post which name you would like, and the name that is posted the most will be chosen.
Thanx!
Proud K.R.E Member